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Daughter Refusing Diagnosis

rilca

I hope somebody may have some advice about this. I suspect that my daughter 15 years old may have aspergers. We have seen a specialist (9 month wait) who has said that there is a strong possibility of aspergers but needed more investigation for full diagnosis however as there were some mental health problems we would have to see Camhs (another 6 month wait). Now we seem to have hit a road block to get the full diagnosis my daughter has to agree. Well, my daughter doesn't agree to anything. I dragged her to first appointment, second appointment she agreed to go if a bought her a new online TV series  but said to Camhs that she didn't want to be there.  She refuses to entertain the idea that she may have aspergers calling it insulting.  I really don't understand how a child has the final say. After all we are expected to force them to go to school why is this different, how come I am no longer the responsible adult? On the other side am I doing the right thing if she doesn't want it, everything I have read said it can help and I am very worried about her.

Does anybody have any experience of advice about this?

Parents

  • How would having the diagnosis actually help ?

    I ask that because you can learn from tips on this website and in books etc and work out stratergies that help you in terms of your daughter. 

    The diagnosis wont change the need for everyone helping to put the puzzle together but first you need to find what what pieces of the puzzle are missing.  You can't just go into this head first.  It the work 'we' all do around us that helps.

    Your daughter can seek diagnosis any time she is an adult if she is refusing this now. It may feel like the end of a tough battle for you as you are set on it and she isn't set on it.  Let it drop awhile and try not to even raise the subject again. Learn what she likes to do and what she hates. Learn how she receives instruction best.  She may not realise she needs help where it seems obvious to you. But the more you 'nag' about getting assessed the more she will resent and the more she will struggle.  Show an interest in the things she does share with you.  Being a Teen is challenging enough I remember that even this late on. I know you want what is best for her.  But she really does have to make a few mistakes of her own. She may never ask you for help as of me, I seem to prefer not to ask family even now am much older family are the last to know anything. It not personal I know that much.

    But try to let it drop and if she knows there are services out there that is the important thing.  She be trying to find her own way through but this wouldn't change with a diagnosis.  Let her be a 'normal' teen living her life and so long as she knows there is help there. 

    Try to let it go and let her make her own mind up as it is about her :-)

Reply

  • How would having the diagnosis actually help ?

    I ask that because you can learn from tips on this website and in books etc and work out stratergies that help you in terms of your daughter. 

    The diagnosis wont change the need for everyone helping to put the puzzle together but first you need to find what what pieces of the puzzle are missing.  You can't just go into this head first.  It the work 'we' all do around us that helps.

    Your daughter can seek diagnosis any time she is an adult if she is refusing this now. It may feel like the end of a tough battle for you as you are set on it and she isn't set on it.  Let it drop awhile and try not to even raise the subject again. Learn what she likes to do and what she hates. Learn how she receives instruction best.  She may not realise she needs help where it seems obvious to you. But the more you 'nag' about getting assessed the more she will resent and the more she will struggle.  Show an interest in the things she does share with you.  Being a Teen is challenging enough I remember that even this late on. I know you want what is best for her.  But she really does have to make a few mistakes of her own. She may never ask you for help as of me, I seem to prefer not to ask family even now am much older family are the last to know anything. It not personal I know that much.

    But try to let it drop and if she knows there are services out there that is the important thing.  She be trying to find her own way through but this wouldn't change with a diagnosis.  Let her be a 'normal' teen living her life and so long as she knows there is help there. 

    Try to let it go and let her make her own mind up as it is about her :-)

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