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Daughter Refusing Diagnosis

rilca

I hope somebody may have some advice about this. I suspect that my daughter 15 years old may have aspergers. We have seen a specialist (9 month wait) who has said that there is a strong possibility of aspergers but needed more investigation for full diagnosis however as there were some mental health problems we would have to see Camhs (another 6 month wait). Now we seem to have hit a road block to get the full diagnosis my daughter has to agree. Well, my daughter doesn't agree to anything. I dragged her to first appointment, second appointment she agreed to go if a bought her a new online TV series  but said to Camhs that she didn't want to be there.  She refuses to entertain the idea that she may have aspergers calling it insulting.  I really don't understand how a child has the final say. After all we are expected to force them to go to school why is this different, how come I am no longer the responsible adult? On the other side am I doing the right thing if she doesn't want it, everything I have read said it can help and I am very worried about her.

Does anybody have any experience of advice about this?

Parents

  • Hi Rilca

    I understand you want to help your daughter, but what exactly is it that you think she needs help with? I note from your first post last year that you said she was doing fine academically but was anxious at home. Can you identify what makes her anxious?

    I'm a female with high functioning autism, or aspergers - also known as an "Aspie". As a teenager I did'nt know this, but I do remember what it was like being a 15 year old. By that age I felt like an adult and wanted to be treated like one, not like a child. I did suffer from depression briefly whie I was in sixth form, but this was treated with a short course of mild anti-depressants from the GP.

    It's important for your relationship with her that you let her make her own decisions. She may feel "different", but is likely to want to not have this made more obvious at that age, as Autistic/Aspie children & teens are far more likely to be bullied than other young people - I was bullied at secondary school even without that "label" and I would have hated having that diagnosis too.

    Be patient - she can make her own decision about it when she feels ready. Maybe if you ignore it and treat her like a "normal" young woman, she will eventually pluck up the courage to want to talk to you about how she feels, but the most important thing now is for you to make it clear to her that her happiness is paramount.

    All the best

Reply

  • Hi Rilca

    I understand you want to help your daughter, but what exactly is it that you think she needs help with? I note from your first post last year that you said she was doing fine academically but was anxious at home. Can you identify what makes her anxious?

    I'm a female with high functioning autism, or aspergers - also known as an "Aspie". As a teenager I did'nt know this, but I do remember what it was like being a 15 year old. By that age I felt like an adult and wanted to be treated like one, not like a child. I did suffer from depression briefly whie I was in sixth form, but this was treated with a short course of mild anti-depressants from the GP.

    It's important for your relationship with her that you let her make her own decisions. She may feel "different", but is likely to want to not have this made more obvious at that age, as Autistic/Aspie children & teens are far more likely to be bullied than other young people - I was bullied at secondary school even without that "label" and I would have hated having that diagnosis too.

    Be patient - she can make her own decision about it when she feels ready. Maybe if you ignore it and treat her like a "normal" young woman, she will eventually pluck up the courage to want to talk to you about how she feels, but the most important thing now is for you to make it clear to her that her happiness is paramount.

    All the best

Children
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