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Daughter Refusing Diagnosis

rilca

I hope somebody may have some advice about this. I suspect that my daughter 15 years old may have aspergers. We have seen a specialist (9 month wait) who has said that there is a strong possibility of aspergers but needed more investigation for full diagnosis however as there were some mental health problems we would have to see Camhs (another 6 month wait). Now we seem to have hit a road block to get the full diagnosis my daughter has to agree. Well, my daughter doesn't agree to anything. I dragged her to first appointment, second appointment she agreed to go if a bought her a new online TV series  but said to Camhs that she didn't want to be there.  She refuses to entertain the idea that she may have aspergers calling it insulting.  I really don't understand how a child has the final say. After all we are expected to force them to go to school why is this different, how come I am no longer the responsible adult? On the other side am I doing the right thing if she doesn't want it, everything I have read said it can help and I am very worried about her.

Does anybody have any experience of advice about this?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    (You have to be patient with the website - click once and wait is the way to do it)

    I misread your post and didn't understand what you had bought her.

    I think you need to move your relationship from parent - child to adult - adult. If she asks for treats before an event then she will just be going along for the treat. If she learns that you can reward good behaviour after an incident then she might see that as more reasonable.

    I can sense your desperation about the situation - it is hard to watch disasters unfold and you desperately want to take control and fix things. I'm autistic and also a parent so I see this from both sides. Constantly taking control is ultimately not good for her - she must fail and at some point ask for help. What does she want to happen next? Does she think that everything is OK? What choices does she think that she has? If you try to make diagnosis a choice that she can make in her own time then this might be a way forward. Ultimately people can be sectioned for their own safety but I hope that you are some way off that situation?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    (You have to be patient with the website - click once and wait is the way to do it)

    I misread your post and didn't understand what you had bought her.

    I think you need to move your relationship from parent - child to adult - adult. If she asks for treats before an event then she will just be going along for the treat. If she learns that you can reward good behaviour after an incident then she might see that as more reasonable.

    I can sense your desperation about the situation - it is hard to watch disasters unfold and you desperately want to take control and fix things. I'm autistic and also a parent so I see this from both sides. Constantly taking control is ultimately not good for her - she must fail and at some point ask for help. What does she want to happen next? Does she think that everything is OK? What choices does she think that she has? If you try to make diagnosis a choice that she can make in her own time then this might be a way forward. Ultimately people can be sectioned for their own safety but I hope that you are some way off that situation?

Children
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