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Diagnose or not?

Bluejen

My 15 year old daughter behaves like a 'normal' teen at home, however she suffers social anxiety at school and is unable to sustain relationships with peers, which causes great distress -Behavours such as self harming and talking of suicide. She has managed to sit 7 national 5's (Scottish equivalent to GCSE's) and has coped well with limited support. She has been at CAMHS for several weeks and they're now suggesting ASD, which I can now see why.

Our concern is what are the benefits of getting a late diagnosis?

All we can see are negatives: labelling, stigma and limitations being placed on her if she goes ahead with this. We've let her know it's her decision and at the moment she's adamant she doesn't want this. We want to know the benefits for her, we've been told she'll get a free laptop for university!!! Is that it?

I want her decision to be an informed one yet at the moment I can't disagree with what she says.....Please help!

Parents

  • Hi Bluejen

    Many of us on this forum have found out much later in life that we are on the autistic spectrum, some like me in middle age. But not all of us decide to get a "formal" diagnosis as there isn't much support available even if you need it, which many of us don't anyway.

    It is really good to understand yourself though and I wish I had known earlier. As an Aspie (nickname for person with aspergers) female, I learned very early to act in a neurotypical (non autistic) way and even I had no idea until recently, even though I always felt different, seemed more sensitive than other people and had problems with relationships.

    The website of Tania A Marshall has information about the unique traits of Aspie females, who present differently to their male couterparts. Here is a link to her page about Aspie girls and teenagers: taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/.../

    I think you are making the right decision in supporting her with refusing a formal diagnosis at present, as she can request one herself later if she wants. But I would encourage her to learn more about herself and how she is different to others. After I read a lot of stuff about autism/aspergers, I decided that I wanted to know not just how my mind worked but how the minds of neurotypical people worked too, so that I could understand them better, and I found the book "A field guide to Earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" really helpful for this.

    I don't know if she is allowed to join this forum yet as she is only 15, but I would suggest it might be a good idea for her to join something like this when she has had time to learn more and process what it means, maybe when she turns 18 if there are age restrictions. There is also a site called Aspie Village which I have joined. I find it reassuring to be able to communicate with others who understand and think the same way - it makes you feel less different.

    I wish you and her all the best for the future and I'm on here regularly if you, or she, want to ask me anything.

    Pixie

Reply

  • Hi Bluejen

    Many of us on this forum have found out much later in life that we are on the autistic spectrum, some like me in middle age. But not all of us decide to get a "formal" diagnosis as there isn't much support available even if you need it, which many of us don't anyway.

    It is really good to understand yourself though and I wish I had known earlier. As an Aspie (nickname for person with aspergers) female, I learned very early to act in a neurotypical (non autistic) way and even I had no idea until recently, even though I always felt different, seemed more sensitive than other people and had problems with relationships.

    The website of Tania A Marshall has information about the unique traits of Aspie females, who present differently to their male couterparts. Here is a link to her page about Aspie girls and teenagers: taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/.../

    I think you are making the right decision in supporting her with refusing a formal diagnosis at present, as she can request one herself later if she wants. But I would encourage her to learn more about herself and how she is different to others. After I read a lot of stuff about autism/aspergers, I decided that I wanted to know not just how my mind worked but how the minds of neurotypical people worked too, so that I could understand them better, and I found the book "A field guide to Earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" really helpful for this.

    I don't know if she is allowed to join this forum yet as she is only 15, but I would suggest it might be a good idea for her to join something like this when she has had time to learn more and process what it means, maybe when she turns 18 if there are age restrictions. There is also a site called Aspie Village which I have joined. I find it reassuring to be able to communicate with others who understand and think the same way - it makes you feel less different.

    I wish you and her all the best for the future and I'm on here regularly if you, or she, want to ask me anything.

    Pixie

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