Feelings after diagnosis

I, I've posted here before but since my last post I have had my asd assessment amd have all but been formally diagnosed as being on the spectrum and specifically aspergic. I have one more form to complete for my next apappointment but the person who did the assess!sent said she was certain but still needed that questionnaire done. 

Now, I've always known that I was different and that I was pretty sure I was going to be told I was on the spectrum. 

However, I had always imagined the diagnos would be a relief, allowing me to go a bit easier on myself. 

But now that I am at that point, I don't feel that at all. If anything I'm now questioning if the diagnosis is right, am I a fraud etc. My anxiety just will not give me a break. 

She also asked where I wanted to go from here. She gave me the contact details for a service which specifically helps adults with autism with things like social skills training to finding a job. And now I'm asking myself, where do I want to go with this? Do I want to get better at making lasting friendships or do I want to allow myself to be happy with how things are and not chasing somethin that inevitably won't be good for me. 

Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

I should add I'm male, 35 and married with 2 kids, who I look after full time at home. 

Thank you

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I started with this book. www.amazon.co.uk/.../1606236342 I read this before I got diagnosed and it did two things for me.

    1) I recognised myself in the descriptions at the start of the book

    2) Valerie Gaus promotes a positive attitide and she provides some tactics and strategies for doing practical things that can help. I have recommended the book a number of times on the forum and people have re-recommended after they have read it. I can't guarantee that it will work for you but it worked for me and might help you.

    Later on, after diagnosis, I read Tony Attwoods complete guide which is a much more academic and dense reference that provides a real expert view. It is stronger on examples and description than it is on practical steps but it is recommended if you really want to know the subject.

    I expect that you are likely to benefit from counselling to unpick the social anxiety etc - this is an issue that can be unravelled and you will regain more and more confidence with time (it takes a while to untangle these issues. you will never get rid of the underlying communication issues but I suspect you will struggle to figure out what is autism and what is a consequence at this point. It is a journey that takes time!

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I started with this book. www.amazon.co.uk/.../1606236342 I read this before I got diagnosed and it did two things for me.

    1) I recognised myself in the descriptions at the start of the book

    2) Valerie Gaus promotes a positive attitide and she provides some tactics and strategies for doing practical things that can help. I have recommended the book a number of times on the forum and people have re-recommended after they have read it. I can't guarantee that it will work for you but it worked for me and might help you.

    Later on, after diagnosis, I read Tony Attwoods complete guide which is a much more academic and dense reference that provides a real expert view. It is stronger on examples and description than it is on practical steps but it is recommended if you really want to know the subject.

    I expect that you are likely to benefit from counselling to unpick the social anxiety etc - this is an issue that can be unravelled and you will regain more and more confidence with time (it takes a while to untangle these issues. you will never get rid of the underlying communication issues but I suspect you will struggle to figure out what is autism and what is a consequence at this point. It is a journey that takes time!

Children
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