Feelings after diagnosis

I, I've posted here before but since my last post I have had my asd assessment amd have all but been formally diagnosed as being on the spectrum and specifically aspergic. I have one more form to complete for my next apappointment but the person who did the assess!sent said she was certain but still needed that questionnaire done. 

Now, I've always known that I was different and that I was pretty sure I was going to be told I was on the spectrum. 

However, I had always imagined the diagnos would be a relief, allowing me to go a bit easier on myself. 

But now that I am at that point, I don't feel that at all. If anything I'm now questioning if the diagnosis is right, am I a fraud etc. My anxiety just will not give me a break. 

She also asked where I wanted to go from here. She gave me the contact details for a service which specifically helps adults with autism with things like social skills training to finding a job. And now I'm asking myself, where do I want to go with this? Do I want to get better at making lasting friendships or do I want to allow myself to be happy with how things are and not chasing somethin that inevitably won't be good for me. 

Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

I should add I'm male, 35 and married with 2 kids, who I look after full time at home. 

Thank you

Parents
  • I'm a newbie so maybe I'm being a bit cheeky in replying to this (I'm not even sure I have AS) however, I would have thought that the self-knowledge you have gained is invaluable inasmuch as it allows you to pursue a course that will give you the most benefit. I'm not saying that you should feel you have to 'give up' on making social connections because human beings are always capable of change since we are good at learning but I guess it comes down to knowing where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Also, doesn't receiving a diagnosis relieve you of any guilt you might have felt surrounding your behaviour? I'm in the position currently of pondering about whether my life has been all down to me or due to some kind of condition such as AS, which is pretty frustrating because I still feel I don't really know who I am and if I were in your position it would (I hope) give me some closure about why I am like I am and where I am. People say that being an aspie isn't so much a disability as it is a different kind of brain and as such should be celebrated. It's been suggested that some famous aspies in history were Einstein, Newton, Mozart, Beethoven, Steve Jobs, etc! What more can I add?

Reply
  • I'm a newbie so maybe I'm being a bit cheeky in replying to this (I'm not even sure I have AS) however, I would have thought that the self-knowledge you have gained is invaluable inasmuch as it allows you to pursue a course that will give you the most benefit. I'm not saying that you should feel you have to 'give up' on making social connections because human beings are always capable of change since we are good at learning but I guess it comes down to knowing where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Also, doesn't receiving a diagnosis relieve you of any guilt you might have felt surrounding your behaviour? I'm in the position currently of pondering about whether my life has been all down to me or due to some kind of condition such as AS, which is pretty frustrating because I still feel I don't really know who I am and if I were in your position it would (I hope) give me some closure about why I am like I am and where I am. People say that being an aspie isn't so much a disability as it is a different kind of brain and as such should be celebrated. It's been suggested that some famous aspies in history were Einstein, Newton, Mozart, Beethoven, Steve Jobs, etc! What more can I add?

Children
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