Waiting for assessment as an adult

I'm 31 years old and female, and recently referred myself to the adult autism diagnostic team. I've had problems with social situations for as long as I can remember - even when I was at playgroup aged 3 I remember sitting in the book corner rather than joining in with the other children because I was confused by them. I've always been really sensitive to sensory stimuli, easily overwhelmed, and obsessive. When I was younger it was all about categorising dogs, now I'm into butterflies (and when I say into, I mean I read butterfly identification books like other people read novels, heh. My partner thinks I'm odd. She's quite right!). I also have a tic disorder, so I know I have other neurodevelopmental issues, and I've had problems with depression, and eating since just before my teens. But because I come across as intelligent, people have always seemed to mistake my lack of social skills for arrogance or aloofness, because clever people aren't supposed to find 'simple' things like conversations or coping in office environments or going out on the town incredibly overwhelming and impossible. I actually really like people and wish I could make friends more easily, I just really suck at it! 

I'm really nervous about being assessed, partly because I'm so bad at communicating with people I don't know, and partly because my parents won't get involved. They are refusing to have anything to do with it because they don't want to think of anything being 'wrong' with me. I've had tics and anxiety problems since I was 4, so it shouldn't be news that I'm not neurotypical! I don't see things that way at all anyway, I just see this as a potential explanation for things I've found hard. And I also think that there are good aspects to the way my brain works. I love spotting patterns, I have a weird way with words that my partner thinks is hilarious, and I really enjoy getting absorbed in things I'm interested in.

I basically just wanted to ask if anyone could tell me a bit about the process of being assessed as an adult, and particularly if anyone has had an assessment without involving their parents, because it's really unlikely that mine are going to come around to the idea any time soon.

Parents
  • It's great you're comfortable and can articulate your needs. I struggle with saying how I really feel. I had a friend for 35 years but she got fed up with me when I'd hide behind the sofa if she knocked at the door or refuse to go clubbing with her....(my idea of hell by the way)! 

    The facade is fading at work. I've been there two years and I think some of the people think I'm difficult. I work better when there's systems and processes in place. I'm also hugely perfectionist and get agitated if I don't understand something, to the point where I faked an illness just to get sent home so I can cry. Pathetic really isn't it. The good thing is for the most part, I work alone as I've got my own room. When it gets too much I just go in and shut the door. People ask me why the doors shut, I say it's because I'm cold.....even when it's 30 degrees outside!!!! 

    Someone I work with has just gone on maternity leave. I used to dread when she was there. Her laugh was loud and deep....like a barking seal. My shoulders and neck used to be up round my ears when I was around her. I was a nervous wreck around her. She's such a lovely person too.....but that laugh.........

    I've gone to the theatre and cinema before now on my own. That was an experience not for the faint-hearted I can tell you. People stare. It's nice to queue in silence yet being surrounded for all that chattering....that's awful. It's like they can't be quiet. 

    I love music on headphones, films and books. 

    When I'm a bit older, I'll dress like Vivien Westwood (amazing) and be surrounded by cats and alpacas....80% in silence. Bliss. 

Reply
  • It's great you're comfortable and can articulate your needs. I struggle with saying how I really feel. I had a friend for 35 years but she got fed up with me when I'd hide behind the sofa if she knocked at the door or refuse to go clubbing with her....(my idea of hell by the way)! 

    The facade is fading at work. I've been there two years and I think some of the people think I'm difficult. I work better when there's systems and processes in place. I'm also hugely perfectionist and get agitated if I don't understand something, to the point where I faked an illness just to get sent home so I can cry. Pathetic really isn't it. The good thing is for the most part, I work alone as I've got my own room. When it gets too much I just go in and shut the door. People ask me why the doors shut, I say it's because I'm cold.....even when it's 30 degrees outside!!!! 

    Someone I work with has just gone on maternity leave. I used to dread when she was there. Her laugh was loud and deep....like a barking seal. My shoulders and neck used to be up round my ears when I was around her. I was a nervous wreck around her. She's such a lovely person too.....but that laugh.........

    I've gone to the theatre and cinema before now on my own. That was an experience not for the faint-hearted I can tell you. People stare. It's nice to queue in silence yet being surrounded for all that chattering....that's awful. It's like they can't be quiet. 

    I love music on headphones, films and books. 

    When I'm a bit older, I'll dress like Vivien Westwood (amazing) and be surrounded by cats and alpacas....80% in silence. Bliss. 

Children
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