• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 25 subscribers
  • Views 2707 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Waiting for assessment as an adult

limetree84

I'm 31 years old and female, and recently referred myself to the adult autism diagnostic team. I've had problems with social situations for as long as I can remember - even when I was at playgroup aged 3 I remember sitting in the book corner rather than joining in with the other children because I was confused by them. I've always been really sensitive to sensory stimuli, easily overwhelmed, and obsessive. When I was younger it was all about categorising dogs, now I'm into butterflies (and when I say into, I mean I read butterfly identification books like other people read novels, heh. My partner thinks I'm odd. She's quite right!). I also have a tic disorder, so I know I have other neurodevelopmental issues, and I've had problems with depression, and eating since just before my teens. But because I come across as intelligent, people have always seemed to mistake my lack of social skills for arrogance or aloofness, because clever people aren't supposed to find 'simple' things like conversations or coping in office environments or going out on the town incredibly overwhelming and impossible. I actually really like people and wish I could make friends more easily, I just really suck at it! 

I'm really nervous about being assessed, partly because I'm so bad at communicating with people I don't know, and partly because my parents won't get involved. They are refusing to have anything to do with it because they don't want to think of anything being 'wrong' with me. I've had tics and anxiety problems since I was 4, so it shouldn't be news that I'm not neurotypical! I don't see things that way at all anyway, I just see this as a potential explanation for things I've found hard. And I also think that there are good aspects to the way my brain works. I love spotting patterns, I have a weird way with words that my partner thinks is hilarious, and I really enjoy getting absorbed in things I'm interested in.

I basically just wanted to ask if anyone could tell me a bit about the process of being assessed as an adult, and particularly if anyone has had an assessment without involving their parents, because it's really unlikely that mine are going to come around to the idea any time soon.

Parents

  • I've never used forums before either, always thought they were a bit of a waste of time but this one is very refreshing as it's such a relief to know I am not alone in all this, there are other people out there just like me. And just knowing that people have the same 'quirks' as me is reassuring too!

    We are very similar, I cry too when things become too much. It's like I can't cope with the overload, have a good old cry and then I'm pretty much fine again. I'm not sure if you have this too but I also have selective mutism where I will literally spend the full day in total silence, or giving one word answers. Before my diagnosis people thought I was being rude or ignorant but now certain people (those I care about) know they understand that there's nothing wrong...I just have nothing to say, and they leave me alone which is heaven for me.

    I have very few friends too, I am very much a solitary person. I struggle to make friends as I can't do small talk or get to know you chit chat (and truth be told I don't really want to either) an if I do form a friendship then like you it is very short lived as I don't maintain it as I should. I like the idea of having friends but the reality is very different and I find it tedious and a struggle to carry them on. I have 1-2 close friends that know about my HFA and they accept that they might go 6-12 months without hearing from me, which helps me as it takes a lot of pressure off.

    I have spent years trying to run from my love of solitary, I used to surround myself with 'friends' and try convince myself that I am really a social person. However as I have gotten a little older I have fully accepted that I prefer my own company and I like being alone and I can honestly say I am totally fine with this. I love spending time alone and prefer to do most things on my own, or with an extremely select 2-3 people such as my husband or my mum. My husband is very social and has a lot of friends he sees regularly. If he arranges to go see the boys I will opt to stay in with a bottle of red and a good book. He's always saying to me "why don't you see the girls?" and my response is always "because I don't want to!" I just like being on my own! We have 'couple friends' which is nice however as he is so social he usually takes the limelight which suits me just fine and our couple friendships seem to work on this basis.

Reply

  • I've never used forums before either, always thought they were a bit of a waste of time but this one is very refreshing as it's such a relief to know I am not alone in all this, there are other people out there just like me. And just knowing that people have the same 'quirks' as me is reassuring too!

    We are very similar, I cry too when things become too much. It's like I can't cope with the overload, have a good old cry and then I'm pretty much fine again. I'm not sure if you have this too but I also have selective mutism where I will literally spend the full day in total silence, or giving one word answers. Before my diagnosis people thought I was being rude or ignorant but now certain people (those I care about) know they understand that there's nothing wrong...I just have nothing to say, and they leave me alone which is heaven for me.

    I have very few friends too, I am very much a solitary person. I struggle to make friends as I can't do small talk or get to know you chit chat (and truth be told I don't really want to either) an if I do form a friendship then like you it is very short lived as I don't maintain it as I should. I like the idea of having friends but the reality is very different and I find it tedious and a struggle to carry them on. I have 1-2 close friends that know about my HFA and they accept that they might go 6-12 months without hearing from me, which helps me as it takes a lot of pressure off.

    I have spent years trying to run from my love of solitary, I used to surround myself with 'friends' and try convince myself that I am really a social person. However as I have gotten a little older I have fully accepted that I prefer my own company and I like being alone and I can honestly say I am totally fine with this. I love spending time alone and prefer to do most things on my own, or with an extremely select 2-3 people such as my husband or my mum. My husband is very social and has a lot of friends he sees regularly. If he arranges to go see the boys I will opt to stay in with a bottle of red and a good book. He's always saying to me "why don't you see the girls?" and my response is always "because I don't want to!" I just like being on my own! We have 'couple friends' which is nice however as he is so social he usually takes the limelight which suits me just fine and our couple friendships seem to work on this basis.

Children
No Data