Waiting for assessment as an adult

I'm 31 years old and female, and recently referred myself to the adult autism diagnostic team. I've had problems with social situations for as long as I can remember - even when I was at playgroup aged 3 I remember sitting in the book corner rather than joining in with the other children because I was confused by them. I've always been really sensitive to sensory stimuli, easily overwhelmed, and obsessive. When I was younger it was all about categorising dogs, now I'm into butterflies (and when I say into, I mean I read butterfly identification books like other people read novels, heh. My partner thinks I'm odd. She's quite right!). I also have a tic disorder, so I know I have other neurodevelopmental issues, and I've had problems with depression, and eating since just before my teens. But because I come across as intelligent, people have always seemed to mistake my lack of social skills for arrogance or aloofness, because clever people aren't supposed to find 'simple' things like conversations or coping in office environments or going out on the town incredibly overwhelming and impossible. I actually really like people and wish I could make friends more easily, I just really suck at it! 

I'm really nervous about being assessed, partly because I'm so bad at communicating with people I don't know, and partly because my parents won't get involved. They are refusing to have anything to do with it because they don't want to think of anything being 'wrong' with me. I've had tics and anxiety problems since I was 4, so it shouldn't be news that I'm not neurotypical! I don't see things that way at all anyway, I just see this as a potential explanation for things I've found hard. And I also think that there are good aspects to the way my brain works. I love spotting patterns, I have a weird way with words that my partner thinks is hilarious, and I really enjoy getting absorbed in things I'm interested in.

I basically just wanted to ask if anyone could tell me a bit about the process of being assessed as an adult, and particularly if anyone has had an assessment without involving their parents, because it's really unlikely that mine are going to come around to the idea any time soon.

Parents
  • Hi Peachi,

    I'm so glad you've replied. I've never used forums before but now I have I'll continue. It's refreshing to know someone else feels the same. I feel so alone at times. Like no-one gets me. I'm a single mum with two teen boys on the spectrum. Most of the past 16 years has been shrouded in the black fog that is the SEN jungle (hell on earth), and trying to get the support my lads need. 

    Going back to the noise issue, I need a detached house surrounded by horses, cats, goats, alpacas (love them more than alot of people). Absolutely no children/toddlers. 

    I too am ok for short periods around people but I have to get away quickly if I feel overloaded. I cry when I get agitated and people think I'm weird. I struggle to make friends. I do try but then it doesn't last long. Some people can be intrusive. Maybe I should try and embrace this more rather than running from it. 

Reply
  • Hi Peachi,

    I'm so glad you've replied. I've never used forums before but now I have I'll continue. It's refreshing to know someone else feels the same. I feel so alone at times. Like no-one gets me. I'm a single mum with two teen boys on the spectrum. Most of the past 16 years has been shrouded in the black fog that is the SEN jungle (hell on earth), and trying to get the support my lads need. 

    Going back to the noise issue, I need a detached house surrounded by horses, cats, goats, alpacas (love them more than alot of people). Absolutely no children/toddlers. 

    I too am ok for short periods around people but I have to get away quickly if I feel overloaded. I cry when I get agitated and people think I'm weird. I struggle to make friends. I do try but then it doesn't last long. Some people can be intrusive. Maybe I should try and embrace this more rather than running from it. 

Children
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