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Anger Management book advice please

Profsparks

Hi all.

A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with ASD, I'm 51 in April.

It explains almost everything, yet changes almost nothing.

I divorced my wife of thirteen years last July, and am finding it hard to deal with my residual anger toward her. I see my kids occasionally, but as they remain a link to her, I'm afraid they will get the brunt of my feelings.

Can anyone recommend a book on how to think round my issues please?

There seems to be a wide range of literature available to choose from, but too much choice is too much.

Thanks in advance

Steve

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I very much agree with Clovis' comments. Try not to get stuck with this anger, it will hurt and it will be hard and it will take time but look forward rather than back and don't waste your time on being bitter. Build a future with your children and their future. 

    Having explanations for events is half the struggle. It is much harder to be judgemental and angry if you can see things from the other's point of view. Neither of you could have anticipated the events that have occured. If you have had 4 children and the marriage lasted so long then it doesn't sound as though she ever intended to bail out to begin with. I suspect that she saw you as a dependable and honest rock to build a life with. She probably knew little of life at the age of 22 when she married. She would have no idea that she was marrying someone whose emotions would be obscured by an invisible condition. She may not have reacted rationally as she made each choice that shaped her life with you. 

    All that was speculation and probably wide of the mark but it is a possible explanation. One aspect of the condition is that we struggle with emotions and imagination and particularly struggle to see events from someone elses point of view. How do you think events seemed to play out from her side of the story?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I very much agree with Clovis' comments. Try not to get stuck with this anger, it will hurt and it will be hard and it will take time but look forward rather than back and don't waste your time on being bitter. Build a future with your children and their future. 

    Having explanations for events is half the struggle. It is much harder to be judgemental and angry if you can see things from the other's point of view. Neither of you could have anticipated the events that have occured. If you have had 4 children and the marriage lasted so long then it doesn't sound as though she ever intended to bail out to begin with. I suspect that she saw you as a dependable and honest rock to build a life with. She probably knew little of life at the age of 22 when she married. She would have no idea that she was marrying someone whose emotions would be obscured by an invisible condition. She may not have reacted rationally as she made each choice that shaped her life with you. 

    All that was speculation and probably wide of the mark but it is a possible explanation. One aspect of the condition is that we struggle with emotions and imagination and particularly struggle to see events from someone elses point of view. How do you think events seemed to play out from her side of the story?

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