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Anger Management book advice please

Profsparks

Hi all.

A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with ASD, I'm 51 in April.

It explains almost everything, yet changes almost nothing.

I divorced my wife of thirteen years last July, and am finding it hard to deal with my residual anger toward her. I see my kids occasionally, but as they remain a link to her, I'm afraid they will get the brunt of my feelings.

Can anyone recommend a book on how to think round my issues please?

There seems to be a wide range of literature available to choose from, but too much choice is too much.

Thanks in advance

Steve

Parents

  • Hi recombinantstocks

    Yeah, I've heard that about anger too, and I am suffering.

    We have four kids and the eldest was diagnosed with high function autism about six years ago. I recognised some of my own traits in her behaviour, and we suspected that I was on the spectrum, although at the time no formal diagnosis was saught.

    It's a long and twisting history, but I'll jump to the last chapter.

    About five years ago, after the birth of our fourth child, our marriage started to decline. I sacrificed my work and my health to support our kids and her while she sorted through her troubles, as we always talked about our future together once she was well again.

    One night she came in from wherever, and dumped me. Said she didn't want to be with me any more. No warning, no discussion, that was the end of us. I just had to accept that and go.

    Since then I've found out she was having an affair and generally sleeping around while giving me the 'cold shoulder'.

    Six months on, she's 35 and got another new boyfriend, and they're living the life that I gave up so much for.

    So.

    I'm angry that she cheated and lied to me while I helped and supported her. She knew how that was affecting me, yet she continued.

    I'm angry that she took it upon herself to terminate our relationship without any attempt to save it. She "got over it" and "moved on" with several others for years while I was struggling to save our marriage.

    I'm angry that someone else now has the future that I was promised and worked so hard for, but I am now back to being alone and lost.

    But I'm probably most angry with being told that I just have to accept all of this and not be angry about it.

    I need help to not take it out on my kids. It has happened before and I don't want to go through that again.

Reply

  • Hi recombinantstocks

    Yeah, I've heard that about anger too, and I am suffering.

    We have four kids and the eldest was diagnosed with high function autism about six years ago. I recognised some of my own traits in her behaviour, and we suspected that I was on the spectrum, although at the time no formal diagnosis was saught.

    It's a long and twisting history, but I'll jump to the last chapter.

    About five years ago, after the birth of our fourth child, our marriage started to decline. I sacrificed my work and my health to support our kids and her while she sorted through her troubles, as we always talked about our future together once she was well again.

    One night she came in from wherever, and dumped me. Said she didn't want to be with me any more. No warning, no discussion, that was the end of us. I just had to accept that and go.

    Since then I've found out she was having an affair and generally sleeping around while giving me the 'cold shoulder'.

    Six months on, she's 35 and got another new boyfriend, and they're living the life that I gave up so much for.

    So.

    I'm angry that she cheated and lied to me while I helped and supported her. She knew how that was affecting me, yet she continued.

    I'm angry that she took it upon herself to terminate our relationship without any attempt to save it. She "got over it" and "moved on" with several others for years while I was struggling to save our marriage.

    I'm angry that someone else now has the future that I was promised and worked so hard for, but I am now back to being alone and lost.

    But I'm probably most angry with being told that I just have to accept all of this and not be angry about it.

    I need help to not take it out on my kids. It has happened before and I don't want to go through that again.

Children
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