I decided I didn't want to wait for the GP and getting caught up in the system.
I want to know one way or the other.
So I found someone who can do a pre-assesment privately. I really want to use it just as a starting point.
I've been given a date. Now Im panicing. Not in terms of what the result might be, but that it is accurate, that I present myself properly warts and all, that the assessor will see through any masks I put on, and accurately diagnose. Then there's the bit of me that says have I built this up too much? I think I have problems, people around me say it's normal behaviour and I just need to practice. What if Im a fraud and given over one image of myself and everyones really disappointed in me and it's a big waste of time because it's found that Im just actually normal? Then there's the waste in time and money.
Scared.
