Panic

I decided I didn't want to wait for the GP and getting caught up in the system.

I want to know one way or the other.

So I found someone who can do a pre-assesment privately. I really want to use it just as a starting point.

I've been given a date. Now Im panicing. Not in terms of what the result might be, but that it is accurate, that I present myself properly warts and all, that the assessor will see through any masks I put on, and accurately diagnose. Then there's the bit of me that says have I built this up too much? I think I have problems, people around me say it's normal behaviour and I just need to practice. What if Im a fraud and given over one image of myself and everyones really disappointed in me and it's a big waste of time because it's found that Im just actually normal? Then there's the waste in time and money.

Scared.

Parents
  • Welcome,

    Naturally, I'm not in a position to say whether a diagnosis is likely.  However, I would like to reassure you that feeling like you may be an "impostor" is very, very common amongst people who are not diagnosed until later in life (I assume you are an adult as you indicate that you arranged your appointments yourself).

    Anyone competent to perform an assessment will be well aware that undiagnosed autistic people often have, as you say a "mask".  I was in my forties when diagnosed, so I wore my mask for a long time - fooling most of the people around me, most of the time.  However, my diagnosis was in little doubt from very first session of my evaluation.  The most important thing is simply to be as honest as possible with the person doing the evaluation - the design of the process, and the training of the professionals involved, should easily see behind your usual masking behaviours.

    In the meantime, make yourself at home here, and get to know some people who are more confident in their diagnosis.  Learning which of the experiences we talk about seem familiar to you should go a long way to calming your fears.

    Best wishes.

Reply
  • Welcome,

    Naturally, I'm not in a position to say whether a diagnosis is likely.  However, I would like to reassure you that feeling like you may be an "impostor" is very, very common amongst people who are not diagnosed until later in life (I assume you are an adult as you indicate that you arranged your appointments yourself).

    Anyone competent to perform an assessment will be well aware that undiagnosed autistic people often have, as you say a "mask".  I was in my forties when diagnosed, so I wore my mask for a long time - fooling most of the people around me, most of the time.  However, my diagnosis was in little doubt from very first session of my evaluation.  The most important thing is simply to be as honest as possible with the person doing the evaluation - the design of the process, and the training of the professionals involved, should easily see behind your usual masking behaviours.

    In the meantime, make yourself at home here, and get to know some people who are more confident in their diagnosis.  Learning which of the experiences we talk about seem familiar to you should go a long way to calming your fears.

    Best wishes.

Children
No Data