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Ok in school so.....................

mumof4boys772

So this evening after having a huge huge meltdown in supermarket and threatening to kill himself in front of everyone and asking people to come kill him and getting home and him wanting to kill himself I once again took my son to a&e.

So because my son is ok in school and not at home the lady that spoke to me said its controlled behaviour and mentioned a parenting course!!!!!!!

So I totally give up now! I have had enough!

Parents

  • Ps

    please don't give up, it nothing to do with poor parenting. I myself can vouch for that and whilst I might not be as public as your son, it is a way I often let go to a safe person. That person asked me last year if I meant it or was it a letting go thing. I honestly didn't know but think it kind of bit of both. Way of wording own distress.  But it has absolutely nothing to do with poor parenting and more shame on that A&E person for not recognising it more deeply. It is a distress signal and well done as he feels safe enough with you to express it. It could be all through school he is pent up, don't enjoy it much, but then school isnt meant to be enjoyed. But is it the right environment for him because that could be giving him extra stress. Could be nothing untoward happening. Just not the right environment so when he gets out of school, he goes bang and explodes and too much. 

    Similary I was going somewhere and was okay with what I was doing, just not where I was doing. Afterwards I would have similar feelings but kept them to email to a safe person. One thing lead to another and I now swapped places and go to that other place.  During that period of swapping the safe person showed me that if I felt all.. and displayed it rather than said the word, stop going there.  It helped me to assess. I was lucky and fit into to the new place and and the change was good.  I knew long enough that I wanted to go to the new place. One day it came to a head as such and snapped in myself. It took a little longer to express that fully to the safe person but I did so through different means and now I go there and yes I still have that unhealthy need to express those thoughts but not like it was before I swapped the one place.

    okay it is harder for your son to tell you he don't like that school. You could end up trying half a dozen schools and end up liking none of them. But it could be a possibility he doesn't like the environment he is in.  I don't know how you would find out. 

    But it has abosultely nothing to do with poor parenting trust me.... please dont give up

Reply

  • Ps

    please don't give up, it nothing to do with poor parenting. I myself can vouch for that and whilst I might not be as public as your son, it is a way I often let go to a safe person. That person asked me last year if I meant it or was it a letting go thing. I honestly didn't know but think it kind of bit of both. Way of wording own distress.  But it has absolutely nothing to do with poor parenting and more shame on that A&E person for not recognising it more deeply. It is a distress signal and well done as he feels safe enough with you to express it. It could be all through school he is pent up, don't enjoy it much, but then school isnt meant to be enjoyed. But is it the right environment for him because that could be giving him extra stress. Could be nothing untoward happening. Just not the right environment so when he gets out of school, he goes bang and explodes and too much. 

    Similary I was going somewhere and was okay with what I was doing, just not where I was doing. Afterwards I would have similar feelings but kept them to email to a safe person. One thing lead to another and I now swapped places and go to that other place.  During that period of swapping the safe person showed me that if I felt all.. and displayed it rather than said the word, stop going there.  It helped me to assess. I was lucky and fit into to the new place and and the change was good.  I knew long enough that I wanted to go to the new place. One day it came to a head as such and snapped in myself. It took a little longer to express that fully to the safe person but I did so through different means and now I go there and yes I still have that unhealthy need to express those thoughts but not like it was before I swapped the one place.

    okay it is harder for your son to tell you he don't like that school. You could end up trying half a dozen schools and end up liking none of them. But it could be a possibility he doesn't like the environment he is in.  I don't know how you would find out. 

    But it has abosultely nothing to do with poor parenting trust me.... please dont give up

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