Assessment worries

Hi, I'm new here. Just looking for a bit of advice/opinion.

I went to my GP about a two years ago about my ASD symptoms and was referred to AMHS. The nurse there labelled me with a provisional diagnosis of a personality disorder, but failed to take into account many of my other symptoms. My partner helped to form a complaint and I was then referred to the autism diagnostic service in my area. I have been waiting for NHS funding for my assessment for over a year and finally it has come through. 

Now I'm really worried about it. I'm fearful that because I have learnt to cope with my daily struggles and mask them (being a woman), that I won't get a diagnoses of ASD. I feel like each day I have to pretend to be someone I am not. I almost feel as if I don't know what the real me is anymore.

I worried that I'll be labelled with a personality disorder and that the pyschologist won't take the whole picture into account. I will only have my partner with me and not my parents.

The fact that I may be given a ASD diagnosis worries me equally. I'm worried that it will effect my future job prospects or having children.

I just want to understand myself. Am I doing the right thing going for this?

  • I'm not sure if there is any set standard of qualification for conducting the assessments, but mine was lead by an actual psychiatrist and conducted in an 'Autism Centre'. Hopefully the experience of who conducts yours won't cause any problems in the diagnostic process.

    Their point about your line of work is understandable, though it wouldn't rule out ASD at all. If you speak to people on sites like this, you find that we work a varied range of jobs, many of which don't fit the stereotypical ASD profile. I myself work for the Police in a public facing role which requires me to deal with all sorts of people in all sorts of situations.

    As far as being a parent goes, I understand your concern and the very possible prospect of me someday having kids is terrifying. But in my job you learn very quickly that perfectly normal "neurotypical" people can make absolutely terrible parents. I've also met a number of people with ASD who make very good parents. As far as you go, I would imagine that your experience in your working life will give you a much better advantage over most people, ASD or not.

    If you don't quite know who you are anymore, I'd say that is another good reason to go for the assessment, I always believed I knew myself very well but I finished the assessment process learning so much more about myself than I'd have ever thought I would.

  • Hi Matt, 

    Thank you for your reply.

    I thought they would be able see through that, but I'm worried about getting someone inexperienced like the first nurse I saw and being labelled as having a personality disorder, I really want to be myself. But to be honest I don't quite know who I am anymore.

    In relation to jobs- I enjoy working with children but it has been suggested to me from my initial AMHS consultation that because I have worked with children and the fact that these jobs requires high levels of interaction and therefore I cannot be ASD. Which is the complete reason they refused to refer me for an ASD assessment and labelled me with a personality disorder. I just worry because of my history of working with children that it will go against me (I had to explain that although I enjoy it, I really do struggle!)

    I don't mind that one day my children may have ASD, I am just worried that being given the diagnosis, could this mean that I am not a capable parent? Moreso than someone not on the spectrum?

    So many queries and worries, pros and cons going through my head.

  • The diagnosis process is sophisticated enough to see through your ability to cope with things, bear in mind that adults who go for diagnosis typically function well anyway, which is often why it goes undetected for so long. As long as you are honest and open, any signs of ASD should reveal themselves.

    As far as your future job prospects go, they will be exactly the same as they are now, as you will be the same person as you are now, a diagnosis won't change any of that.

    As for children, although there is believed to be a genetic link, that link is no where near strong enough to factor into any decision process, so I wouldn't concern yourself with it.

    You're the only person who can decide whether or not it's right for you or worth it, but i would suggest you don't let overblown fears and worry put you off the idea.

    Hope this helps.

    -Matt-