Depressed daughter with possible Aspergers

Hi, i'm new here and really worried about my 23 year old daughter and dont know where to turn. Her mental health problems began during her adolescent years. To cut a long story short she was always a shy child but became withdrawn and didnt make any new friends when she started secondary school. She was referred to CAMHS where she was diagnosed as having social anxiety. She underwent CBT which didnt really help. She became more and more isolated and withdrawn and was then diagnosed with depression also. She ended up failing her A levels due to her problems and quit school and she has been at home ever since. I have tried everything I can over the years to get her to do something with her life. She had a couple of voluntary jobs but quit them. Also she did horse riding for a while but became too anxious so quit. For the past few years she has got gradually worse. Her anxiety is controlled by total avoidance. She spends her days asleep and is up most the night on her computer. She has become a recluse spending most her time alone in her bedroom. The only time she goes out is with me or her dad and ocasionally takes the dog for a walk on a good day. She has undergone every form of help there is. She has tried various anti depressants but says none of them work, although she never sticks to taking them for long enough in my opinion. She has had counselling and therapy and it was only through the most recent therapy that the therapist suggested aspergers and we are now awaiting an assessment for aspergers.
Just lately things have got worse. she is no longer under the doctor but refuses to go, saying it is a waste of time.  She has no motivation to do anything.  She gets annoyed with us very easily and has started to treat me and my husband not very nice, its like we cant say anything right. For example the other night we were watching a programme and I asked her if she knew who this person was on the tv, a perfectly innocent comment. She went mad and went on for days about it being an insult to her intelligence. When she is in our company she never says anything nice and continually is looking for an argument. She doesnt eat properly either. She will rarely eat anything I cook and just grabs biscuits or junk food that takes no effort to prepare. She is underweight and lacking in vitamins but doesnt care. Obviously all this is a sympton of her depression. I sometimes find all this extremely hard to deal with. I don't think even if she gets a diagnosis of aspergers whether anything will change because there is help and support out there but I don't think my daughter will take the help available to her.  I really feel sorry for her sometimes, me and my husband work full time but she is totally dependent on both of us.  I'm not so bothered about the aspergers diagnosis but feel she really needs to address the depression.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Parents
  • Hi, I have Autism not Aspergers but i recognise some of the things your daughter is going throiugh as i was exactly the same.  When i was at school i used to get badly bullied it effected me badly and made me become a reculuse. I used to blame myself and do things to hurt myself i was suicidle.   I did not eat properly and became underweight i used to allways skip meals to punish myself.  I also used to lash out at my Mum and Dad, brothers and sisters.  I felt that because of what i had been through i had to put up defences.  I got through it though with the endless support of my family and the phsychologists. I am still on anti depressants and the symptoms never go away.  I still get angry and have down days.  Finding a hobby has helped a lot.  I love to research fine art and write poetry so i went to College then University and got two degrees.  If your daughter likes to use the computor maybe bring it up in a discussion if you can and suggest that she goes to college.  There is so much more support out there now than there used to be.  it will be hard at first but she will  meet new people and maybe make some friends to help boost her confidence.  You and your daughter are not alone there are suport agencies within  the College and outside that can help your daughter transition into College if that is what she wishes to do.  I wish you and your daughter luck this is the start of a long journey but through love and support you will get through it.   

Reply
  • Hi, I have Autism not Aspergers but i recognise some of the things your daughter is going throiugh as i was exactly the same.  When i was at school i used to get badly bullied it effected me badly and made me become a reculuse. I used to blame myself and do things to hurt myself i was suicidle.   I did not eat properly and became underweight i used to allways skip meals to punish myself.  I also used to lash out at my Mum and Dad, brothers and sisters.  I felt that because of what i had been through i had to put up defences.  I got through it though with the endless support of my family and the phsychologists. I am still on anti depressants and the symptoms never go away.  I still get angry and have down days.  Finding a hobby has helped a lot.  I love to research fine art and write poetry so i went to College then University and got two degrees.  If your daughter likes to use the computor maybe bring it up in a discussion if you can and suggest that she goes to college.  There is so much more support out there now than there used to be.  it will be hard at first but she will  meet new people and maybe make some friends to help boost her confidence.  You and your daughter are not alone there are suport agencies within  the College and outside that can help your daughter transition into College if that is what she wishes to do.  I wish you and your daughter luck this is the start of a long journey but through love and support you will get through it.   

Children
No Data