I had my first meeting two days ago with a consultant psychologist, for a diagnosis of AS (or ASD or whatever it's called just now). I deliberately avoided thinking about it much, as I wanted to go into it without too many preconceptions. I wish I had done my research on reflection. It was weird, like being interviewed by a barrister (albeit a very polite one!). It was as if she had starterd forming opinions about me from the moment the clock started, so to speak. It was not anything like a normal conversation. I felt that she didn;t gain anything ebyond the most superficial and one-sided view of who I am or why I think I have Aspergers (which is what I'll call it in this post, whether it's outdated or not).
I was asked questions which were either very leading or very blunt. I could tell what she was fishing for a lot of the time, eg: she asked me about routines etc. Obviously, the "right" answer is that my life is governed by routines which I get very upset about if they are disrupted. But in my case, that isn't by any means always true. But when only asked to say whether I might call round to see my girlfriend without planning it, and for my answer to be yes, sometimes - and for me to see her writing something down, then move onto something else - it makes me think she's made a decision on my level of spontanaity just from that!
Context is everything, and her questioning gave no scope for context. I rarely do anything socially spontaneously. Sometimes somebody might try to persuade me. Usually I resist but occasionally I might give in. When I have gven in, and gone along with whatever the social thing might be (it would only ever be something small for me to give in), I find I can enjoy it a lot and I can end up feeling almost elated that my fears turned out to be unfounded. So I could truthfully answer the question: "Do you enjoy social occasions?" and "Do you like acting spontaneously?" with a Yes. But that would give a very incomplete and misleading impression without the context.
I felt that this was how the whole interview went. She asked me to perform what were clearly children's 'tests', such as looking through a picture story book and coming up with a narrative, or pretending random small objects were things or people and making up a simple story. Or miming instructions on how to clean your teeth.
I gave her my old school reports which I thought illustrated very clearly that I had what would now be diagnosed as ADHD (full of comments such as "Can do good work if can concentrate for more than a few minutes" "Lacks concentration" "Must learn to control his silly behaviour" etc - literally tens or dozens like this from age 7 to age 16). But she glanced through them and dismissed them, saying words to the effect that they didn't show any indications of ADHD, just 'obstructional resistance', and she couldn't use them as evidence of childhood behaviour for diagnostic purposes.
I am going to be seeng her again in January, so at least I'll be forewarned as to what to expect. I found the whole thing surprisingly intrusive, remote, out of my control and very uncomfortable. I'm sure she's decided I'm quite different to how I actually am.
