Advice please?

hi sorry new here, I'm looking for some advice please as I've hit a brick wall! My son is 10 has always been "different" anyway he has been involved with cahms for over 2 years now for the first year and a half they insisted he has autism, said he displayed all characteristics etc, we went through assessment to be told at the end he doesn't "he is a little boy with a lot of issues, however he walked at the correct age and spoke at the correct age, further more no issues at school"  and that was that end of! Meanwhile my son accor to school is 2 years behind, to explaine everything he does or his quirks I would be here forever trying to explain! But I have a little boy who thinks the whole world is against him, has the most violent outburst, doesn't understand facial expressions, has toiletting issues, can't dress himself, doesn't sleep great has bad asthma but will not comply with medications, taking him to anything medical is horrendous ie doctors, dentist anything like that, won't go outside if dark, has no danger or safety awareness, and if in full melt down will repeatedly tell me he would rather be dead! I don't know where to go next, he currently sees OT for multiple reasons, sees a child psychologist (who initially insisted he had asd) but he hates going as he says she stares at him.  I'm completely stuck just want to know how to make things easier for him! Even children in his class have noticed he is "different" calling him some rotten names which he just doesn't understand! Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated 

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