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Advice please?

Andreamc

hi sorry new here, I'm looking for some advice please as I've hit a brick wall! My son is 10 has always been "different" anyway he has been involved with cahms for over 2 years now for the first year and a half they insisted he has autism, said he displayed all characteristics etc, we went through assessment to be told at the end he doesn't "he is a little boy with a lot of issues, however he walked at the correct age and spoke at the correct age, further more no issues at school"  and that was that end of! Meanwhile my son accor to school is 2 years behind, to explaine everything he does or his quirks I would be here forever trying to explain! But I have a little boy who thinks the whole world is against him, has the most violent outburst, doesn't understand facial expressions, has toiletting issues, can't dress himself, doesn't sleep great has bad asthma but will not comply with medications, taking him to anything medical is horrendous ie doctors, dentist anything like that, won't go outside if dark, has no danger or safety awareness, and if in full melt down will repeatedly tell me he would rather be dead! I don't know where to go next, he currently sees OT for multiple reasons, sees a child psychologist (who initially insisted he had asd) but he hates going as he says she stares at him.  I'm completely stuck just want to know how to make things easier for him! Even children in his class have noticed he is "different" calling him some rotten names which he just doesn't understand! Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated 

  • Just want to say thank you everyone for replying, we feel completely drowning here, but having found this site and advice, hoping when I get to speak to someone from NAS they can point me in the right direction xxx 

  • <p>The school are completely oblivious most recent he physically attacked me in school playground, took me a fair bit to get him in the car with him kicking me in the face, went on for over 30 mins then he wanted to kill him self trying to smash his head through car windows i drove to local a&e (which made him worse, anything medical sets him off) who told me hospital was no place for him they didn't have the services to help! They couldn't sedate him as it wasn't ethical to sedate a child although he was a danger to himself! Schools response was inform me I should have him arrested if he done it again!

  • Hi Andreamc,

    I'm sorry that you are having problems getting support for your son at the moment. As Longman suggested, it may be helpful for you to contact our helpline as we can signpost you to further support http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/autism-helpline/how-to-contact-us.aspx In terms of your son expressing suicidal thoughts, please don't hesitate to contact your GP or 111 out of hours, in case of immediate danger we would advise going to A&E.

    I hope that this helps you but if not, please contact us so we can provide you with further support.

    Sofie Mod

  • Oh any bullying....no no no. Challenge he school hard on how they are dealing with it. Get their anti bullying policy and make sure they are sticking to it. No excuses.

    x

  • Also new. Hi.

    Keep fighting for a full diagnosis.

    I started when my child was 5 took till 13 to get diagnosed. Be a pest. Keep at them hard until they assess him. I did in the end and wish i had sooner.

    Similarly mine was a nightmare at home...and angel at school.........until high school when suddenly it switched and I was suddenly believed and started to get somewhere. Mine kinda has a finite amount of stress, socialising, behaving and when its used up..its gone! he could bottle up all day at school and then explode on me, or later the other way. Now diagnosed ASD aspergers  ;)

  • It does worry me when schools see nothing wrong with name calling arising with children who appear different from their peers.

    About a decade ago there were a lot of studies of the phenomena, but inevitably, due to some political correctness debate at the time, they focussed on the use of "***" and being gay.

    As a result the research explored one very specific aspect of name calling. "***" has connotations, but is or was at that time widely used for children who appeared different, and the connotation, even when for other reasons of difference, was perceived as injurious by those on the receiving end, and did cause distress or even suicide.

    But the research just stopped dead at that point, as if that was the only kind of name calling that arose. No-one seems to have paid much attention to other contexts, and little if any attention has been paid to the mocking and ridicule of children whose autism makes them different.

    If he is getting that kind of name calling, and it is not racial, sexual or about physical appearance, then it is likely to be behavioural and implicate autism.

    You need to challenge the negative outcome of the assessment and get advice on re-assessment - contact the NAS helpline.