• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 25 subscribers
  • Views 1610 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

43 and think I'm on the spectrum

aspermum

Hi all. First post here.

I'm 43, single mum, have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since I was 37. In the past six years I've tried every mood stabiliser under the sun but none of them have worked.

I have arrived here (on this site) following yet another of my explosive rages. I have had these for my entire life. The good thing is, these rages only last for a matter of minutes. The bad thing is that afterwards I feel deep shame and remorse. They leave me feeling wretched. I just lose all control. I googled my symptoms and this led to me reading about autistic meltdowns. It's only now, for the first time in my life, that I've realised what I've been having all my life are meltdowns. 

I followed the links given on another page on this site and did the AQ and EQ tests. I scored 45 in the AQ test and 12 in the EQ test. From what I can gather - and I'm still in the process of sifting through all the information I've found - this could mean I am on the spectrum. Just writing this makes me feel sick. I feel like I'm in shock. I have two kids and find parenting very difficult as it is (though they are both amazing and funny and I love them to bits) - how can I tell them? What if they are on the spectrum too?

Thanks for reading.

Parents

  • I am 56 and was recently diagnosed, with both Asperger syndrome and bipolar disorder, after I lost my job.  The second psychiatrist I consulted - an expert in Autism Sprectrum Disorder in adults - said that my bipolar disorder, which has for large periods of my life been in remission, amplified the effect of my Asperger's.

    In spite of losing my Employment Tribunal case I am positive about my future.  Now that I understand better who I am and what makes me tick I feel better able to express myself, appreciate who I really am and look to ways I can contribute and find fulfillment.  I have remained married for 23 years (it's not been easy for her, but my wife has stuck with me) and I have two sons, 20 and 15, both of whom I have now been able to talk to about my condition.

    You mention drugs not working.  I was originally diagnosed with Depression, ASD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and put on Prozac.  I don't think the Prozac did anything positive for me - in fact it may have made me uncharacteristically agressive.  I gave it up against my shrink's advice after six months.   Apart from sleeping pills, the only other drug I have taken is Lorazepam - an anti-anxiety pill.  It certainly reduced my anxiety but it also made me very drowsy.  I have been advised against Lithium becasue my bipolar is not so severe (I once had a landlady who had much worse bipolar and she became incoherent when on a high, which has never happened to me).

    As for books, I am currently nearly half way through reading "Neurotribes; the legacy of autism and how to think smarter about people who think differently" by Steve Silberman.  This is an accessible account of the history of autism.  It is heartbreaking to learn what happed to  autistic children in the past, especially in Nazi Germany and the US (and no doubt the UK too) in the 1950s and 1960s but I would recommend it based on what I have read so far.

Reply

  • I am 56 and was recently diagnosed, with both Asperger syndrome and bipolar disorder, after I lost my job.  The second psychiatrist I consulted - an expert in Autism Sprectrum Disorder in adults - said that my bipolar disorder, which has for large periods of my life been in remission, amplified the effect of my Asperger's.

    In spite of losing my Employment Tribunal case I am positive about my future.  Now that I understand better who I am and what makes me tick I feel better able to express myself, appreciate who I really am and look to ways I can contribute and find fulfillment.  I have remained married for 23 years (it's not been easy for her, but my wife has stuck with me) and I have two sons, 20 and 15, both of whom I have now been able to talk to about my condition.

    You mention drugs not working.  I was originally diagnosed with Depression, ASD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and put on Prozac.  I don't think the Prozac did anything positive for me - in fact it may have made me uncharacteristically agressive.  I gave it up against my shrink's advice after six months.   Apart from sleeping pills, the only other drug I have taken is Lorazepam - an anti-anxiety pill.  It certainly reduced my anxiety but it also made me very drowsy.  I have been advised against Lithium becasue my bipolar is not so severe (I once had a landlady who had much worse bipolar and she became incoherent when on a high, which has never happened to me).

    As for books, I am currently nearly half way through reading "Neurotribes; the legacy of autism and how to think smarter about people who think differently" by Steve Silberman.  This is an accessible account of the history of autism.  It is heartbreaking to learn what happed to  autistic children in the past, especially in Nazi Germany and the US (and no doubt the UK too) in the 1950s and 1960s but I would recommend it based on what I have read so far.

Children
No Data