Hi all. First post here.
I'm 43, single mum, have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since I was 37. In the past six years I've tried every mood stabiliser under the sun but none of them have worked.
I have arrived here (on this site) following yet another of my explosive rages. I have had these for my entire life. The good thing is, these rages only last for a matter of minutes. The bad thing is that afterwards I feel deep shame and remorse. They leave me feeling wretched. I just lose all control. I googled my symptoms and this led to me reading about autistic meltdowns. It's only now, for the first time in my life, that I've realised what I've been having all my life are meltdowns.
I followed the links given on another page on this site and did the AQ and EQ tests. I scored 45 in the AQ test and 12 in the EQ test. From what I can gather - and I'm still in the process of sifting through all the information I've found - this could mean I am on the spectrum. Just writing this makes me feel sick. I feel like I'm in shock. I have two kids and find parenting very difficult as it is (though they are both amazing and funny and I love them to bits) - how can I tell them? What if they are on the spectrum too?
Thanks for reading.
