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Neighbours

nicolall

I'm desperately trying to find help. My son is a 24-year-old autistic. We had harassment from elderly neighbours who called him various names and noise nuisance. They have now died, the council have put a new family in. They're even worse than the elderly neighbours with the noise, and screaming and anything to be annoying. My son has health issues and self harms. I've tried getting help from my local council, they were useless. They had us in Band 1 to move, but where the elderly neighbours have died, they have sent us a letter to say that the neighbours "moved out" and that they have taken us off Band 1 now.

I have ended up getting sectioned last night due to the fact that I couldn't cope anymore. Whenever I say anything to adult social services, they say about the solution is for my son to move out, but he is not ready yet, and why should he and I have to endure this when we have done nothing wrong?

  • Where should your son move to according to the Council?

    Will the Council give him somewhere to live if he moves?

    Would you know where he should move to?

    It is easy to say your son should move without giving him a place to live.

    I eventually moved to a group home and then to my own flat?

    When I get older I might have to move into a care home as I might not  be able to cope with being at homeil

    David

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I use noise cancelling headphones - cheaper than Bose and effective enough to enable me to work in an open plan office www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_7 These can be used to exercise control over what you hear. You can plug them in and effectively turn off the noise from the neighbours and replace it with your own choice of sound This can be music or spoken word recordings depending on what your are trying to get done. I suffer from tinnitus and also from being quite distractable by noise and also find that lots of everyday noise (police sirens, espresso machines, music in shops and public spaces) makes me react more than most people. I usually try and move to quiet spaces or put the earphones in or I remind that I am extra susceptible and that if a wait or do something to remove myself from the noise then the nuisance will pass.

    Most people (noisy people, autistic people, NT people etc etc) put themselves first and often aren't actually able to stop their children being boisterous and noisy. An example of this is that autistic children are particularly hard to control.

    A few people will actually be deliberately annoying but most are just inconsiderate and are not putting you first.

    If you try and control these people then I think you are likely to be disappointed and they generally will react against being controlled. We are often not good at negotiating issues like this without making the situation worse.

    None of the above excuses deliberate discrimination or persecution but I think that this is quite rare.

  • Really sorry about your problems with noisy children, I don't understand, and get angry with why so many people are just so incosiderate.

    I am discovering so much since being diagnosed in August, I can relate to these problems. Fortunately I don't have to endure it most of the time. Opposite the road to me is a community hall, and several years ago a childrens nursery have pretty much taken over the event. When the weather is dry, the let the chilren play in the playground and the noise some of these kids make is unbeleivable. I haven't been able to open windows sometimes, it pierces through double glazed windows. When it gets so bad, I have to put on my stereo very loud to drown out the screams. This at least gives me some control, and as I am in a detached house, has less effect on the neighbours.

    It seems the kids are encouraged to make as much noise as possible from the nursery, and sometimes they just keep the kids outside for hours at a time. I am mostly at work, it doesn't happen in the evening, but when I take a week off to relax at home, it really drive me up the wall. Some parents seem intent on bringing up their kids to be loud and obnoxious, like they feel it will enable them to get the most out of life.

    About 5 years ago, I also had a big problem with "bird scarers" on farm land. Now these are basicsally a gas cannister with a cannon that does not fire anything, but creates a large bang sound on a timer. Usually every 20 minutes. There are laws governing how close they are to housing, and what times they can be used. It was awful, when they went off it was a very low thud I could hear knocking against the house. Again really drove me up the wall, and would wake me in very early hours when I was having trouble sleeping with insomnia

    I don't know if this could help, but a chap who I work with have some expensive bose noise cancelling headphones. He uses them when he gets annoyed by inconsiderate people in the office. Not a permanent solution I know, but may just give that odd short respite from the problem to help ease the problem a little.

  • Hi Nicolall,

    I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you have been experiencing.

    I have put a link to the NAS helpline that may be a good place to ask for some advice. I hope you find some support soon,

    www.autism.org.uk/.../contact-us.aspx