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Is autism diagnosis the end of the world?

Jamesjoseph

Hi all I'm new to the forum, I have a 14 month old son who is displaying a LOT of signs of ASD. I am bouncing between reassuring myself he is a late bloomer (mostly after reassurance from friends and family) and being 100% certain he has (or will at some point be diagnosed with) ASD.

The signs I am seeing are mainly no response to name, not using gestures and almost no initiation of joint attention And very little back and forth babbling and certainly no consistently used words. Now, to me there is little doubt but my family are adamant that I am over-reacting and he is just a normal boy who is taking a little time to develop..they cite things that must mean he doesn't have a problem like hugging, following simple instructions (he certainly does understand much of what we say), he is happy and liked people etc. unfortunately none of these things rule out autism.

this difference of opinion between me and everyone else in mine and wife's family and my wife herself is causing problems. I suffered from health anxiety a couple of years ago, constantly thinking I was gravely ill when in fact I had some minor health issues, resesrching symptoms on the Internet in large part led to this. The upshot of this is I am now the boy who cried wolf. I feel really alone at the moment, I want to get my son help but my wife insists we wait until scheduled appointment with HV in a month.

anyway,to the point of my post! I have read a lot from people with autistic children who seem to just get on with it and accept it. Id like to know that once a diagnosis is received what is a patents life like, I am terrified of what the future has in store for my family. I am constantly worrying and feeling down, I don't feel like I will be able to cope. I think it would help to hear other people's experiences, how did people make the transition from the terror I am now experiencing to living a happy life with their autistic child?

Parents

  • Hi James. Only normal parents have anxiety about their children, because it's normal!

    I'm reading this with some interest because I'm a diagnosed AS person and I brought my kids up as a single parent whilst working full time. Any parent will tell you how tough it can be with your first. I can tell you firmly that there isn't an honest person anywhere who will tell you any different. Parenting is hard, kids go through many stages as they grow, and you're having the experience for the first time. Be nice to yourself about it, we've all had to learn. I don't much like it, but these days I look after grandkids and to be honest, it's simple compared to trying to deal with adults!

    Read Philip Larkin's poem - it's funny 'cos it's true and unavoidable!

    www.goodreads.com/.../66966-they-****-you-up-your-mum-and-dad-they-may

    Don't read what the 'experts' say as being definitive stages in child development, they're often wrong because they talk about averages and in my entire life I've never met an 'average' person. Some kids walk, talk and eat 'early', some 'late', take an average and it's neither - see what I mean?

    Child development checks are good and if there is anything to pay attention to, they'll usually spot it and note it for future checks. If it's any consolation to you, I suffered the same degree of anxiety as you with my first-born, all of it wasted and all of it based on normal parental concern for our children and their future. How many people have asked the same question - 'what sort of world is this to bring children into?' and the answer is, almost everyone!

    We often project our concerns for ourselves onto others, and I'm with 'Socks in suggesting that much of this may be more about yourself. I'd like to understand why you arrived at ASD, and to hear that you're exploring yourself a bit more, so I wonder if you've done an AQ test online?

Reply

  • Hi James. Only normal parents have anxiety about their children, because it's normal!

    I'm reading this with some interest because I'm a diagnosed AS person and I brought my kids up as a single parent whilst working full time. Any parent will tell you how tough it can be with your first. I can tell you firmly that there isn't an honest person anywhere who will tell you any different. Parenting is hard, kids go through many stages as they grow, and you're having the experience for the first time. Be nice to yourself about it, we've all had to learn. I don't much like it, but these days I look after grandkids and to be honest, it's simple compared to trying to deal with adults!

    Read Philip Larkin's poem - it's funny 'cos it's true and unavoidable!

    www.goodreads.com/.../66966-they-****-you-up-your-mum-and-dad-they-may

    Don't read what the 'experts' say as being definitive stages in child development, they're often wrong because they talk about averages and in my entire life I've never met an 'average' person. Some kids walk, talk and eat 'early', some 'late', take an average and it's neither - see what I mean?

    Child development checks are good and if there is anything to pay attention to, they'll usually spot it and note it for future checks. If it's any consolation to you, I suffered the same degree of anxiety as you with my first-born, all of it wasted and all of it based on normal parental concern for our children and their future. How many people have asked the same question - 'what sort of world is this to bring children into?' and the answer is, almost everyone!

    We often project our concerns for ourselves onto others, and I'm with 'Socks in suggesting that much of this may be more about yourself. I'd like to understand why you arrived at ASD, and to hear that you're exploring yourself a bit more, so I wonder if you've done an AQ test online?

Children
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