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Is autism diagnosis the end of the world?

Jamesjoseph

Hi all I'm new to the forum, I have a 14 month old son who is displaying a LOT of signs of ASD. I am bouncing between reassuring myself he is a late bloomer (mostly after reassurance from friends and family) and being 100% certain he has (or will at some point be diagnosed with) ASD.

The signs I am seeing are mainly no response to name, not using gestures and almost no initiation of joint attention And very little back and forth babbling and certainly no consistently used words. Now, to me there is little doubt but my family are adamant that I am over-reacting and he is just a normal boy who is taking a little time to develop..they cite things that must mean he doesn't have a problem like hugging, following simple instructions (he certainly does understand much of what we say), he is happy and liked people etc. unfortunately none of these things rule out autism.

this difference of opinion between me and everyone else in mine and wife's family and my wife herself is causing problems. I suffered from health anxiety a couple of years ago, constantly thinking I was gravely ill when in fact I had some minor health issues, resesrching symptoms on the Internet in large part led to this. The upshot of this is I am now the boy who cried wolf. I feel really alone at the moment, I want to get my son help but my wife insists we wait until scheduled appointment with HV in a month.

anyway,to the point of my post! I have read a lot from people with autistic children who seem to just get on with it and accept it. Id like to know that once a diagnosis is received what is a patents life like, I am terrified of what the future has in store for my family. I am constantly worrying and feeling down, I don't feel like I will be able to cope. I think it would help to hear other people's experiences, how did people make the transition from the terror I am now experiencing to living a happy life with their autistic child?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi James,

    I really think that it would be a good idea for you to try and talk to someone about your reactions to the situation. If you suffered from anxiety then did you have help with that at the time?

    Autism is often inherited so if you seriously thought that either of you, parents, were affected then there is a chance that he would have inherited the genes. (I can trace my tendencies back through several generations) Is this why you suspect that he may have autism or is it just his behaviour that makes you wonder? If neither of you is affected then it is quite unlikely that he is (I'm saying that based on a mix of statistics and my supposition that he is in fact actually a normal baby who isn't what you thought a baby should be like)

    I'm speaking from the position of someone who has autism and who has successfully brought up two children. It was all a bit of a mystery to us and we worried (particularly with the first) and fretted and were amazed and thrilled at different points. Being a parent is not always easy but it's within the capabilities of 99% of people. You are more than 99 times more likely to be in the group of people who will manage than in with the psychos and maniacs who will be dangerous to their offspring. -  You are concerned and that is natural but if your concern is uncontrolled then you will make yourself ill.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi James,

    I really think that it would be a good idea for you to try and talk to someone about your reactions to the situation. If you suffered from anxiety then did you have help with that at the time?

    Autism is often inherited so if you seriously thought that either of you, parents, were affected then there is a chance that he would have inherited the genes. (I can trace my tendencies back through several generations) Is this why you suspect that he may have autism or is it just his behaviour that makes you wonder? If neither of you is affected then it is quite unlikely that he is (I'm saying that based on a mix of statistics and my supposition that he is in fact actually a normal baby who isn't what you thought a baby should be like)

    I'm speaking from the position of someone who has autism and who has successfully brought up two children. It was all a bit of a mystery to us and we worried (particularly with the first) and fretted and were amazed and thrilled at different points. Being a parent is not always easy but it's within the capabilities of 99% of people. You are more than 99 times more likely to be in the group of people who will manage than in with the psychos and maniacs who will be dangerous to their offspring. -  You are concerned and that is natural but if your concern is uncontrolled then you will make yourself ill.

Children
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