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How did I not realise my son was different?

ChewChew

Hi,

Sorry if a similar issue has been raised before.

My son is 6 and since he started nursery his teachers have been telling me that his behaviour is a bit out of the ordinary and that they thought there was something different about him and the way he acts.  I was adamant for a long time he was, for want of a better word, "normal" and only in the last 6 months have I agreed to the assessment.

He has come back as autistic (high functioning), and I seperately have been screened as high functioning and ADHD by a psychologist although I have to wait a long time for a diagnostic appointment for myself.

From hearing other peoples' struggles with getting their doctors to agree to a diagnosis for their child, not only do I feel grateful that the school pushed me to get my son assessed, but I am also worried that I didn't see anything "strange" or different with him myself.  Yes, he has quirks, but isn't everyone different?

I am his mum so surely I should have noticed that he was different.  I feel bad because I have been quite hard on him in regards to his bad behaviour at school (although he is lively, but manageable at home) and maybe all this time I should have just understood him more.

Has anyone elses' child diagnosis come the same way as mine?  It seems I am in the minority for not realising myself.  Sorry this is really long.

Parents

  • hi ChewChew

    It sounds like your son's school should be able to help and support him, and they will know there is a reason for his behaviour now, and I hope he goes on OK.

    My daughter was often late for school and eventually I realised it was the noise and crowds at the start of the day that were upsetting her, and she was going as late as possible to try to avoid them.  So although she hasn't a diagnosis yet, the school are allowing her to go in ten minutes later to avoid the early morning stresses, and that seems to be helping.

    Although she is waiting for a diagnosis the practitioner who did the tests said that it looked like she was on the spectrum, but testing wasn't really neccessary, and that there is no support in our area anyway.  I discussed this with my daughter and we decided it was a good idea to be tested as it would help her, me, and other people understand her behaviour better, and find ways to try to help her.

    Looking back I can see lots of times when concerns should have been raised but there were always other reasons put forward because of other life events.

    It's a good idea to have someone at the school who you can talk to about what is happening, and as it was the school that mentioned concerns with your son, I should think you will have a contact that you can talk to?

    all the best for you and your son for the future Smile

Reply

  • hi ChewChew

    It sounds like your son's school should be able to help and support him, and they will know there is a reason for his behaviour now, and I hope he goes on OK.

    My daughter was often late for school and eventually I realised it was the noise and crowds at the start of the day that were upsetting her, and she was going as late as possible to try to avoid them.  So although she hasn't a diagnosis yet, the school are allowing her to go in ten minutes later to avoid the early morning stresses, and that seems to be helping.

    Although she is waiting for a diagnosis the practitioner who did the tests said that it looked like she was on the spectrum, but testing wasn't really neccessary, and that there is no support in our area anyway.  I discussed this with my daughter and we decided it was a good idea to be tested as it would help her, me, and other people understand her behaviour better, and find ways to try to help her.

    Looking back I can see lots of times when concerns should have been raised but there were always other reasons put forward because of other life events.

    It's a good idea to have someone at the school who you can talk to about what is happening, and as it was the school that mentioned concerns with your son, I should think you will have a contact that you can talk to?

    all the best for you and your son for the future Smile

Children
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