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Concern for the future with my teenage son.

mumof3lincs

My eldest son has recently been diagnosed with ASD at 15.  I have known as his mum for many years that something was a little different but it has taken us 10 years to get to where we are now.  My biggest concern for him though is his future.  His violent episodes are getting worse as he is getting older and I have no way of restraining him during a period of red mist.  He was recently given a fixed term exclusion from school due to a fight that he involved himself in, this may now cause difficulties in keeping him within the school for sixth form study.

We have perhaps now exhausted all options for him, we have tried family action, targeted youth worker, anger management, CAMHS, Peadiatricians.  It appears that despite a diagnosis the support for his social issues is still not forthcoming.  We are being referred back to CAMHS by our GP to find further assistance but, with this health department being what it is in our area, we are not hopeful.  Is there anywhere that we can go in the meantime? We are in a rural community in South Lincolnshire and support groups seem to be hard to find.

Any assistance and advice would be very much appreciated.

Parents

  • I don't really have anything helpful to offer, I just want to offer *hugs*

    I can't completely relate to your predicament because although I have children which can be challenging in their behaviour, I'm still trying to find my feet with them. I myself was a nightmare teenager. I left school in year 9, I hated it. I started/got involved in fights with girls and boys, I was a very angry young girl at the time and extremely frustrated. I was being bullied at school and didn't really have any friends, I found socialising, how to behave, really difficult. I was also too trusting and took people at face value and people took advantage of that, which made things worse in my behaviour. It's difficult enough being a teenager, but when you have added difficulties it can be so isolating and you do feel extremely vulnerable. My take on it was to protect myself with that anger, it was the only way I knew how to manage at school, until I left. If your son is experiencing similar difficulties at school then I would imagine that's why he's behaving the way he is?

    Are there any other options open to him regarding his education? Are there any colleges that cater for the difficulties he has? I was eventually ordered by the court to attend a school for kids with behavioural problems (they were mostly kids who'd been excluded from every mainstream school), but because I was aware of this, it made me even more defensive as I assumed I'd be picked on. That may not be a good option for him, but maybe somewhere that is able to manage and has experience in ASD could be helpful? 

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  • I don't really have anything helpful to offer, I just want to offer *hugs*

    I can't completely relate to your predicament because although I have children which can be challenging in their behaviour, I'm still trying to find my feet with them. I myself was a nightmare teenager. I left school in year 9, I hated it. I started/got involved in fights with girls and boys, I was a very angry young girl at the time and extremely frustrated. I was being bullied at school and didn't really have any friends, I found socialising, how to behave, really difficult. I was also too trusting and took people at face value and people took advantage of that, which made things worse in my behaviour. It's difficult enough being a teenager, but when you have added difficulties it can be so isolating and you do feel extremely vulnerable. My take on it was to protect myself with that anger, it was the only way I knew how to manage at school, until I left. If your son is experiencing similar difficulties at school then I would imagine that's why he's behaving the way he is?

    Are there any other options open to him regarding his education? Are there any colleges that cater for the difficulties he has? I was eventually ordered by the court to attend a school for kids with behavioural problems (they were mostly kids who'd been excluded from every mainstream school), but because I was aware of this, it made me even more defensive as I assumed I'd be picked on. That may not be a good option for him, but maybe somewhere that is able to manage and has experience in ASD could be helpful? 

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