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Possible to be sociable with Aspergers

Migsy

Hi

I'm new to the formum.  I have had problems with my 10 yr old all his life with very challenging behaviour which seems to fit with AS.  He is functions well though and copes just about OK at school.  I find his behaviour at home increasingly difficult to manage as he get physically bigger and stronger.  I also find his stresses and meltdowns hard.  

 

The thing which has always made me think he is not ASD is that he is very sociable. He has no problems with eye contact etc.  However, he can behave inappropriately and tends to hurt people a lot, for example, he will get angry when playing football and trip other players up or he might kick a ball towards someone's face if they do something he doesn't like.  So, he does have some problems socially, it is just that he is friendly and loves social gatherings such as parties etc.  He has plenty of friends although I do hear them having a word with him for his unwanted behaviour sometimes.

 

Is it possible to have AS and still be sociable and friendly?  

 

Parents

  • Thanks Longman.  The thing is that I do not know if he has AS and I had just put the lack of eye contact down to him being defiant. Now I realise that there may be more to it than I thought.

    The things that worry me about him are:

    Getting angry far too often and lashing out at siblings for no good reason;

    Getting angry with teachers (he bottles this up)

    Hitting out on the football field

    Getting  highly stressed about being late or not being able to do something "right".

    Having tantrums/meltdowns when things do not go his way.

    Sleep problems

    Going on and on about something incessantly until it is resolved.

    Having difficulty waiting, e.g. at doctors or barbers and getting up to ask staff how much longer he has to wait

    Fear of lifts/stairs/escalators

    Fear of food - he has a limited diet and will only eat very plain food such as a bowl of pasta or rice with no sauce

    Has to get dressed in a certain order

    Disruptive behaviour - seemingly deliberately annoying people by making silly noises, jumping about etc.  Not responding when it is explained to him that his actions are causing distress 

    Hates change

    Will not tolerate simple dental/medical procedures

    Obsessive behaviour and expecting his brother to take part in his obsessions. He does not understand or accept that people might not want to "play his game" and will go crazy if his brother does not take part.

    I could go on but living with him is very stressful and I really need help in managing his behaviour.  Not sure if I should have him assessed as he is reasonable sociable.  He just struggles a bit with life.

     

     

Reply

  • Thanks Longman.  The thing is that I do not know if he has AS and I had just put the lack of eye contact down to him being defiant. Now I realise that there may be more to it than I thought.

    The things that worry me about him are:

    Getting angry far too often and lashing out at siblings for no good reason;

    Getting angry with teachers (he bottles this up)

    Hitting out on the football field

    Getting  highly stressed about being late or not being able to do something "right".

    Having tantrums/meltdowns when things do not go his way.

    Sleep problems

    Going on and on about something incessantly until it is resolved.

    Having difficulty waiting, e.g. at doctors or barbers and getting up to ask staff how much longer he has to wait

    Fear of lifts/stairs/escalators

    Fear of food - he has a limited diet and will only eat very plain food such as a bowl of pasta or rice with no sauce

    Has to get dressed in a certain order

    Disruptive behaviour - seemingly deliberately annoying people by making silly noises, jumping about etc.  Not responding when it is explained to him that his actions are causing distress 

    Hates change

    Will not tolerate simple dental/medical procedures

    Obsessive behaviour and expecting his brother to take part in his obsessions. He does not understand or accept that people might not want to "play his game" and will go crazy if his brother does not take part.

    I could go on but living with him is very stressful and I really need help in managing his behaviour.  Not sure if I should have him assessed as he is reasonable sociable.  He just struggles a bit with life.

     

     

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