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help struggling

lanky

james seems to be getting worse at the moment, wont let us cuddle him, he just leans in to us so we have to put our arms round him, he wont let us give him a kiss keeps saying kisses tickle, even if you touch his arm says ouch tickles, last few nights he gets distressed in bed because he feet and legs tickle and bed tickles, tickles we think means feels uncomfortable I think, he can only wear certain footwear only light footwear, this morning he stood and lined all his red cars up, its starting to get upsetting that I cant even have a proper cuddle off my son, we not due back to peads june/july this year, but that's gonna be stressful because james has changed soo much since January and not in a good way frown emoticon, been having load of meltdowns lately which haven't been like that in a long time

currently being assessed for autism he is 3 years old

  • My son was very hypersensitive to touch and all stimuli and since he didnt get a diagnosis for 12 years when my concerns were ignored by all Health Professionals and teachers?  He has ASD and his hypersensitivity has improved over the years but still persists, it is very difficult to deal with as a parent with a young child.  Being hypersensitive doesn't not always mean they have ASD.  gOOD lUCK.

  • It's important to get the ECH Plan (or similar wording), used to be called a Statement of educational needs previously.  You can check it out via the home pg.  It means the school are obliged to provide him with a certain level of support.  Without it he may get no support at all, either because they don't know enough about autism or they don't want to spend their money on him.  Be sceptical about whatever is said to you, altho polite at the same time.  There are many people who say they are trained in autism, have "worked with autistic people" etc.  Really check them out on it, sometimes it doesn't mean a lot, depending on the level of training they've received.  It's best to get as much in place as poss before he starts school because if he starts without appropriate arrangements in place, then problems will arise + they'll be ringing you.

  • not sure about him having a teaching assistant, got meeting next week so gonna ask about breaktimes, he doesnt have a statement, not sure what a statement is or what its for etc, they making him a book about his new school, with pictures of the classroom and members of the staff, he tolarates kids being next to him but if one comes near him or cuddles him he gets very upset and distressed

  • Hi again - there are lots of posts on here about autistic children having a difficult time at school, so you need to check out what his primary school are going to do to help support him.  Have that conversation as soon as poss as schools vary enormously.  Will he have a teaching assistant who has been well trained in autism, for example?  A quiet area?  How will he be at playtime - will he need support then?  Check out the home pg for info.  Has he got a statement or what's called an Education + Health plan now (worded something like that).  It's important that you get 1 before he starts school.  Also, how prepared is he for going to "big school."?

    Going back to nursery for a min.  Something may have set off his sensory issue about skin so it could be quite tough for him if other children are touching him etc, or even staff?  

    Good luck with everything.  Sometimes it's not easy for our children or us, but we have to fight their corner for them. Smile

  • thats actually interesting i never thought about it being stressful which is why he shuts down, no arrangements have been made for him, no quiet area either, but hes starting a new school in september into reception class

  • He may be finding nursery too stressful, so shutting down whilst there, then letting it all out when he gets home.  It's a bit like when we bottle something up all day at work + then let off steam when we get home.  He may get wound up about going also.  How much does the nursery understand about autism + how it affects him as a person?  What arrangements have they made for him whilst he's there, such as a quiet area?

  • theres no pattern to his meltdown, as sometimes cars might not work properly, cars hot or cold will kick off hitting himself etc turns into a meltdown, yeah he knows the nursery but he shuts down at nursery hardly talks etc,

  • Hi Smile.  Sounds like he's got sensory issue which he's describing as a "tickle".  Sounds like this skin is v sensitive + he's noticing it in a number of instances.  Difficult to tell whether it's a bit painful or not for him.  I wouldn't try too hard to get a cuddle under these circumstances, apart from a "light touch" one.  I know it can be hard, waiting to see professionals, but it's not too long now + all you can do is let them know the situation + listen to what they say.  Do you know why he's having meltdowns?  As you'll know, there's always a reason, even if we don't know what it is.  It might be worth keeping a note of what happens for, say, quarter of an hour before a meltdown occurs to see if there's a pattern.  Does he go to nursery?  Maybe a poster who has this kind of sensory issue to deal with will come along + comment?  Or maybe there's info via the home pg?