self examination

shar32 said:

Hi, my son is 25 and recently my husband tried to explain to him about self examination of his testicles.  I did  not go well!  My son is extremely oposed to anything sexual or to do with private parts.  My husband tried to explain to him in simple terms and to show him, using himself, what to do, but my son just said that he was fine, that he does not drink or smoke and that he has special blood so there is nothing wrong with him.   Has anyone else found the best way to approach this?  I am very worried that he is not getting checked down there and also, if he really would even know what he was looking for.

I am somewhat stunned by this post. Who advocated such a demonstration? I would have been absolutely disgusted and mortified if my father had exposed himself to me like that. My children (boys of a similar age to yours) would tell me in no uncertain terms that it just isn't appropriate behaviour. It simply isn't necessary or apropriate in my opinion. (Other opinions are obviously available)

It seems to me as though you have perhaps got this issue out of all proportion. Yes this is a real issue - I have a friend who suffered from testicular cancer. Yes, he should be aware that if he finds anything out of the ordinary then this should be investigated. However, you stand a good chance of terrifying him and encouraging him to develop an unbalaced view of the risk with this sort of "education".

Would it be appropriate to teach him about sex by demonstrating intercourse to him? There are sensible taboos about what can and should be shared between parents and their children,

It is appropriate to raise his awareness and to make it clear that there are sources of information available - i'm sure that the NHC Choices website has stuff about this sort of thing. He needs to know when and how to get help but I suspect that this approach may have been counterproductive.

shar32 said:

Hi, my son is 25 and recently my husband tried to explain to him about self examination of his testicles.  I did  not go well!  My son is extremely oposed to anything sexual or to do with private parts.  My husband tried to explain to him in simple terms and to show him, using himself, what to do, but my son just said that he was fine, that he does not drink or smoke and that he has special blood so there is nothing wrong with him.   Has anyone else found the best way to approach this?  I am very worried that he is not getting checked down there and also, if he really would even know what he was looking for.

I am somewhat stunned by this post. Who advocated such a demonstration? I would have been absolutely disgusted and mortified if my father had exposed himself to me like that. My children (boys of a similar age to yours) would tell me in no uncertain terms that it just isn't appropriate behaviour. It simply isn't necessary or apropriate in my opinion. (Other opinions are obviously available)

It seems to me as though you have perhaps got this issue out of all proportion. Yes this is a real issue - I have a friend who suffered from testicular cancer. Yes, he should be aware that if he finds anything out of the ordinary then this should be investigated. However, you stand a good chance of terrifying him and encouraging him to develop an unbalaced view of the risk with this sort of "education".

Would it be appropriate to teach him about sex by demonstrating intercourse to him? There are sensible taboos about what can and should be shared between parents and their children,

It is appropriate to raise his awareness and to make it clear that there are sources of information available - i'm sure that the NHC Choices website has stuff about this sort of thing. He needs to know when and how to get help but I suspect that this approach may have been counterproductive.