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Argh silly silly silly me

mumof4boys772

I need help om combatting this please, we are still awaiting diagnoses for my son, (hfa) if he gets it,however we have always always had a problem with toilets,its very very rare he will use one outside,hes 7 now,anyway ne day i managed to get him into a disabled toilet and said i had to lock the door as i wanted a wee too,i realised very quickly he was not happy with this and havent done it since.

However on the odd occasion that he will use a disabled toilet, he will not shut the door, i have to hold it open,i had to do it at the doctors the other day,stading there holding the door open whilst he had a wee, i know he will use this one as its a one man toilet,so nobody else can get in it to turn the hand dryer on!

He went into the school toilets the other day and sat with the door open and the kids came in and took the mick out of him.

Anyway should i continue holding the door open? i have tried explaning several times.

How would you deal with this please?

Parents

  • My own experience, years in retrospect, may not be relevant now, but I offer it as further insight into what I explained above.

    Up to my thirties I had difficulty using a public urinal. I couldn't relax because of anxieties about it, and therefore couldn't "perform". This led to embarrasing situations of loitering in toilets simply because I couldn't find relief, or having to go away and try to find somewhere else. It has got easier in intervening years.

    Cubicals in public conveniences are often occupied or barely fit for use.

    I put a lot of it down to being bullied at school. My environmental reactions and potential to melt down were exploited by my peers.

    Toilets were the worst of places. I was invariably jostled and subject to provocative shouts, hand claps and other sudden happenings aimed at getting me to react. So even getting to an empty toilet I was constantly apprehensive of anyone coming in who might have a go at me. So it is hardly surprising I continued to have this fear in later years.

    So I do wonder to what extent it happens to children and teenagers in school nowadays. Toilets, changing rooms, communal showers are places where the teachers tend not to observe, probably for sound reasons, so it is where much bullying of people on the spectrum is likely to take place.

Reply

  • My own experience, years in retrospect, may not be relevant now, but I offer it as further insight into what I explained above.

    Up to my thirties I had difficulty using a public urinal. I couldn't relax because of anxieties about it, and therefore couldn't "perform". This led to embarrasing situations of loitering in toilets simply because I couldn't find relief, or having to go away and try to find somewhere else. It has got easier in intervening years.

    Cubicals in public conveniences are often occupied or barely fit for use.

    I put a lot of it down to being bullied at school. My environmental reactions and potential to melt down were exploited by my peers.

    Toilets were the worst of places. I was invariably jostled and subject to provocative shouts, hand claps and other sudden happenings aimed at getting me to react. So even getting to an empty toilet I was constantly apprehensive of anyone coming in who might have a go at me. So it is hardly surprising I continued to have this fear in later years.

    So I do wonder to what extent it happens to children and teenagers in school nowadays. Toilets, changing rooms, communal showers are places where the teachers tend not to observe, probably for sound reasons, so it is where much bullying of people on the spectrum is likely to take place.

Children
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