What could be wrong with me?

Firstly, I'm just going to say that I don't think that this is an alternative to seeing a doctor or psychiatrist. I just want some advice.

Along with Asperger's and ADHD, I have suffered from depression and anxiety since early childhood. Now I am beginning to think there is even more going on in my head. I have very frequent mood swings where a very good mood could be totally ruined at the slightest thing. In fact, my mood only seems to get really low following a really high point. The past three years in a row, I have gone through a crippling period of extreme anxiety, social phobia and depression around April which will last until June or July. During these episodes, I try to reach out to all those closest to me for help but it never feels enough to me and I begin to lash out at them. I always regret it afterwards - it's like I become a different person when I melt down. Most of the time the advice is no more than 'Things will get better' etc which is pretty useless advice but I know they are just trying to help. I will also be chronically unmotivated with tiny bouts (usually when I'm trying to sleep) of feeling very motivated.

So many different diagnoses seem to fit what I'm going through - sometimes I think I might be bipolar, sometimes borderline, sometimes PTSD with repressed memories - but whenever I express these concerns with a doctor, I ALWAYS get the usual 'Oh, I'm sure you're just depressed. Let's put you on some anti-depressants and see if they work. Don't be too alarmed if they make you want to kill yourself'. I never get referred for counselling. As well as this, when I'm going through an episode of social phobia, the last thing I want to do is have to keep making endless appointments with my GP just to be put on another type of anti-depressant. I hate doctor's surgeries, can't stand sitting in the waiting room. It always feels like the other patients are staring, which then makes my social anxiety worse and by the time I get to actually see the doctor (usually at least 15 minutes later than my appointment time which makes me even more nervous) I am in full fight-or-flight mode and want to get out of there as soon as possible, which in turn leads me to completely forget most of what I wanted to say to my doctor. It's an endless cycle and it's really bringing me down. Five years ago I was pretty happy. Now I'm just a mess of emotion.

Any suggestions as to what could be wrong with me, then? Any tips to be taken more seriously by the doctor?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My personal opinion is that drugs are a last resort. If nothing else has improved a condition and the drug has enough benefit in the individual concerned, compared to any side effects, then I would consider drugs. This is a fairly stringent set of terms and I suspect that we probably agree, more or less, on this matter.

    I read your original post as suggesting that you feared that you had bipolar and I was trying to suggest that, although bipolar is what you suspected, it might just be your autism's consequential manifestations. I was trying to suggest that the best approach would be to deal with the autism consequences rather than trying to treat the bipolar symptoms with meds. I'm not an expert so I don't know whether you can treat bipolar without drugs.

    My personal recipe for dealing with the consequences of autism is to get to the root of the autism and understand it to the point where you can change your thought patterns by training and education to the point where you don't suffer the excessive swings that our dichotomous thought processes lead us into. i.e. I very much believe that CBT is the first line of attack in treating the consequences of autism.

    I, personally, don't feel the need for my autism to be 'cured' so I don't believe that those organisations that want to cure everyone's autism should apply that approach to me. I can see, however, that some people's autism is far, far worse than mine and that for some individuals, and probably their parents, some sort of a cure is desirable.

    You have a lot of choice in this. You can freely choose to not take any drugs prescribed for you (unless you are sectioned under the MHA). You are free to have an opinion on the matter - the things we say on this forum are only advice and I try hard (not always successfully!) to avoid arguments.

    I am grateful for you raising the questions about ResearchAutism - I wasn't aware of this and my gut response is to be against people who want to rid the world of our pesky genes.

    My reading of the article itself was that it didn't have any bad overtones and I also read it as suggesting that bipolar symptoms might not be actual bipolar and that drugs were therefore less likely to be effective. They allow the possibility that you can have autism and bipolar but I read it as suggesting that this combination is less likely than the current prescription rates would suggest.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My personal opinion is that drugs are a last resort. If nothing else has improved a condition and the drug has enough benefit in the individual concerned, compared to any side effects, then I would consider drugs. This is a fairly stringent set of terms and I suspect that we probably agree, more or less, on this matter.

    I read your original post as suggesting that you feared that you had bipolar and I was trying to suggest that, although bipolar is what you suspected, it might just be your autism's consequential manifestations. I was trying to suggest that the best approach would be to deal with the autism consequences rather than trying to treat the bipolar symptoms with meds. I'm not an expert so I don't know whether you can treat bipolar without drugs.

    My personal recipe for dealing with the consequences of autism is to get to the root of the autism and understand it to the point where you can change your thought patterns by training and education to the point where you don't suffer the excessive swings that our dichotomous thought processes lead us into. i.e. I very much believe that CBT is the first line of attack in treating the consequences of autism.

    I, personally, don't feel the need for my autism to be 'cured' so I don't believe that those organisations that want to cure everyone's autism should apply that approach to me. I can see, however, that some people's autism is far, far worse than mine and that for some individuals, and probably their parents, some sort of a cure is desirable.

    You have a lot of choice in this. You can freely choose to not take any drugs prescribed for you (unless you are sectioned under the MHA). You are free to have an opinion on the matter - the things we say on this forum are only advice and I try hard (not always successfully!) to avoid arguments.

    I am grateful for you raising the questions about ResearchAutism - I wasn't aware of this and my gut response is to be against people who want to rid the world of our pesky genes.

    My reading of the article itself was that it didn't have any bad overtones and I also read it as suggesting that bipolar symptoms might not be actual bipolar and that drugs were therefore less likely to be effective. They allow the possibility that you can have autism and bipolar but I read it as suggesting that this combination is less likely than the current prescription rates would suggest.

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