Assessment questionnaire - mother backtracking!

I have started the process of getting an AS assessment. Am F in my late 40s.

Contacted a private psychologist in the first instance for a pre-assessment, as I am too nervous to approach my GP without some kind of verifcation. They gave me an AQ and EQ to complete, and a relatives questionaire which I asked my mother to fill in. She is the only person who has any idea what I was like as a child. 

My memories of my childhood are pretty much textbook Aspie - extreme fussiness about food and the environment, unusual interests and obsessions, frequent tantrums often about minor issues, and poor social skills. I was bullied badly and constantly in trouble with parents/teachers for reasons I (mostly) did not understand. 

All my life my mother has complained about what an absolute nightmare I was as a child, however when it came down to the questionaire she balked at it, making light of my behaviour and backtracking completely. She couldn't answer specifics so I tried prompting her a bit, and one conversation went something like this:-

Me - you remember I was very fussy about clothes not fitting right, and scratchy labels? Tantrums?
Mum - yes but that's perfectly normal. I'm the same.
Me - I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But not everybody gets bothered by scratchy clothes.
Mum - I know, your stepdad doesn't notice. *And* he tucks the ends of his shoelaces into his shoes. I couldn't bear that.
Me - Then how about writing that on the questionnaire?
Mum - [voice rising] But there is absolutely nothing wrong with cutting labels out of clothes. I have a *whole drawer* full of labels that I have collected over the years.
Me - Perhaps you could write that bit on the questionnaire?
Mum - Umm.. maybe not. 

Then she even dismissed my food issues, saying "Oh, I was fussy too" and "all kids are fussy arent they", when in fact mealtimes were a battleground that I feel scarred me for life.

Has anyone else had problems with parents doing this? And what chance have I of getting a diagnosis without her cooperation?

I don't want to push her as she is elderly and not in the best of health. I would not bring her to an assessment as I know she would get very upset.

Parents
  • Not everyone is happy to be associated with a 'label', such as autism, it's not necessarily an elderly thing, although she's maybe just set in her ways (we don't like change :) )  It's the same in my family, where me, my Mum, and my Grandmother (who has now passed), are all ok with being associated with autism and using it to explain to people why we are the way we are, but as for my brother he really doesn't like being associated with it.  It's been very obvious from a young age he's been on the spectrum, he was noticed about 20 years before I was, but he sees it as a weakness and doesn't like being connected with it at all.  Your Mum has been happy enough up until now without being associated with autism, so it's maybe just best leaving her out of it and just focus on yourself.

Reply
  • Not everyone is happy to be associated with a 'label', such as autism, it's not necessarily an elderly thing, although she's maybe just set in her ways (we don't like change :) )  It's the same in my family, where me, my Mum, and my Grandmother (who has now passed), are all ok with being associated with autism and using it to explain to people why we are the way we are, but as for my brother he really doesn't like being associated with it.  It's been very obvious from a young age he's been on the spectrum, he was noticed about 20 years before I was, but he sees it as a weakness and doesn't like being connected with it at all.  Your Mum has been happy enough up until now without being associated with autism, so it's maybe just best leaving her out of it and just focus on yourself.

Children
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