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Issues with intimacy

emma1803

Hi,

I really don't mean for this to be an inappropriate discussion. I was wondering if other people had issues with having sex and what you did about it.

I really love my boyfriend; he is the person who can get physically closest to me in the world...most people I get irritated when they stand too close to me, but I love to snuggle in his arms. Unfortunately, I have virtually no sex drive and having sex makes me feel violated, irritated, annoyed, imposed upon, and just generally as though all my space is being invaded. I don't like him even breathing near my face. 

I basically pretend I'm fine with it - he knows I have very little sex drive so we don't do it very often; but it's still annoying whenever I have to. 

I wondered if other people have any tips for managing this or making it more enjoyable?

Note: I can't express my feelings about this to him because he is such a gentleman he would probably want to stop completely, but that's not the solution I want either because he won't be happy

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  • Hi Avi. Sorry, I can see how my original post was a bit graphic. 

    Emma, I agree with the previous posters that pretending you are fine with it won't do either of you any good. From what you've said, your boyfriend sounds very caring and understanding so I would definitely recommend talking to him about it. Maybe you two can come to a compromise so that you are both happy? There are also so many different ways of having sex, a lot of which don't involve too much bodily and facial contact other than the obvious. You shouldn't feel afraid to admit you're not that into sex though - it's a lot more common than you think. Good luck!

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  • Hi Avi. Sorry, I can see how my original post was a bit graphic. 

    Emma, I agree with the previous posters that pretending you are fine with it won't do either of you any good. From what you've said, your boyfriend sounds very caring and understanding so I would definitely recommend talking to him about it. Maybe you two can come to a compromise so that you are both happy? There are also so many different ways of having sex, a lot of which don't involve too much bodily and facial contact other than the obvious. You shouldn't feel afraid to admit you're not that into sex though - it's a lot more common than you think. Good luck!

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