• Replies 13 replies
  • Subscribers 25 subscribers
  • Views 2876 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Issues with intimacy

emma1803

Hi,

I really don't mean for this to be an inappropriate discussion. I was wondering if other people had issues with having sex and what you did about it.

I really love my boyfriend; he is the person who can get physically closest to me in the world...most people I get irritated when they stand too close to me, but I love to snuggle in his arms. Unfortunately, I have virtually no sex drive and having sex makes me feel violated, irritated, annoyed, imposed upon, and just generally as though all my space is being invaded. I don't like him even breathing near my face. 

I basically pretend I'm fine with it - he knows I have very little sex drive so we don't do it very often; but it's still annoying whenever I have to. 

I wondered if other people have any tips for managing this or making it more enjoyable?

Note: I can't express my feelings about this to him because he is such a gentleman he would probably want to stop completely, but that's not the solution I want either because he won't be happy

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Back to the original question.

    Pretending that your are fine with it isn't a great situation for either of you. It won't be good for him if you go through the motions and it very clearly is not good for you.

    I'm not actually sure that this is entirely a question related to your ASD. Your problem is not terribly uncommon amongst NT couples who haven't yet worked out how to really enjoy sex. There are lots of books such as The Joy of Sex (I'm sure that Amazon will suggest lots of more modern alternative titles!) that address the issue directly and tactfully. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you it just means that your curiosity about why other people seem to enjoy it so much hasn't been sparked yet. Aren't you curious to find out why sex is so popular and enjoyable to so many people?

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Back to the original question.

    Pretending that your are fine with it isn't a great situation for either of you. It won't be good for him if you go through the motions and it very clearly is not good for you.

    I'm not actually sure that this is entirely a question related to your ASD. Your problem is not terribly uncommon amongst NT couples who haven't yet worked out how to really enjoy sex. There are lots of books such as The Joy of Sex (I'm sure that Amazon will suggest lots of more modern alternative titles!) that address the issue directly and tactfully. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you it just means that your curiosity about why other people seem to enjoy it so much hasn't been sparked yet. Aren't you curious to find out why sex is so popular and enjoyable to so many people?

Children
No Data