Anxiety and Depression

It wasn't my experience, I was pretty happy where I grew-up, although I was set away from the village enough to be right on the moors when I stepped out of the door.

It sounds to me like the kind of feeling of being intrusively observed could happen anywhere, and is probably more likely in built-up areas - sounds like you were content just being yourself until somebody said something you perceived as ridicule (and obviously I can't say for sure, but maybe they didn't even mean it nastily? Just like 'funny' like 'eccentric' rather than 'laughable'?).

I can't relax where I am now, in a big, shared house unless all the doors are shut except to my rooms - it is right on a main road, with houses all around, so every window in our house is visible from rows of windows from others houses, if that makes sense : I hate it, very intrusive.

In terms of anxiety, depression and paranoia originally started as the theme in this thread, yes I suffer from that now, to the point of being completely debilitated, dependent on my parents and on all sorts of pills - and still feeling terrible all of the time.

I don't know what else to say really: when I was diagnosed, the psychiatrist - who I felt was very understanding - said that much of my (unusual) behaviour could be explained by the fact that I 'feel out of control'.

I'd never have been able to put my finger on it like that, but it does ring completely true - unfortunately, there doesn't really seem to have been any remedy to it up to this point, and I continue to suffer from insomnia, acute stress and anxiety - and maybe depression, though I'm not sure about that - and struggle through the days just trying to take my mind off the pain with one thing or another.

And yes of course I'm terribly lonely as a result of this - it was my birthday just the other day, and it suddenly struck me that all of my cards, and everybody I saw (my brother and father the day before, and mum and step-dad on the day) was familly memebers.

The point I'm trying to make being, I literally don't have any friends. 

It wasn't my experience, I was pretty happy where I grew-up, although I was set away from the village enough to be right on the moors when I stepped out of the door.

It sounds to me like the kind of feeling of being intrusively observed could happen anywhere, and is probably more likely in built-up areas - sounds like you were content just being yourself until somebody said something you perceived as ridicule (and obviously I can't say for sure, but maybe they didn't even mean it nastily? Just like 'funny' like 'eccentric' rather than 'laughable'?).

I can't relax where I am now, in a big, shared house unless all the doors are shut except to my rooms - it is right on a main road, with houses all around, so every window in our house is visible from rows of windows from others houses, if that makes sense : I hate it, very intrusive.

In terms of anxiety, depression and paranoia originally started as the theme in this thread, yes I suffer from that now, to the point of being completely debilitated, dependent on my parents and on all sorts of pills - and still feeling terrible all of the time.

I don't know what else to say really: when I was diagnosed, the psychiatrist - who I felt was very understanding - said that much of my (unusual) behaviour could be explained by the fact that I 'feel out of control'.

I'd never have been able to put my finger on it like that, but it does ring completely true - unfortunately, there doesn't really seem to have been any remedy to it up to this point, and I continue to suffer from insomnia, acute stress and anxiety - and maybe depression, though I'm not sure about that - and struggle through the days just trying to take my mind off the pain with one thing or another.

And yes of course I'm terribly lonely as a result of this - it was my birthday just the other day, and it suddenly struck me that all of my cards, and everybody I saw (my brother and father the day before, and mum and step-dad on the day) was familly memebers.

The point I'm trying to make being, I literally don't have any friends.