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Changes to eating habits.

Racheal

Hi, 

I am looking for some reassurance or tips and advice regarding my (almost) 12 year old son and changes to his diet and eating habits. 
When he was younger he used to happily eat a wide range of fruit and meals. Over the last few months this has steadily changed significantly, he is refusing most fruit, (he will occasionally eat an apple) he will refuse foods and meals he used to consistently eat and tends to eat the same foods repeatedly. Encouraging him to eat breakfast is becoming trickier. He has recently been refusing to eat his lunch at school. He will often eat his packed lunch as soon as he gets home and then his main meal as well as snacks. I try not to put pressure on him but my worry and anxiety means I want him to eat otherwise he will have skipped breakfast then potentially not eat at all until 3:30pm. I worry this is too long to go without eating especially with the demands of school and growing. There have recently been a couple of incidents where he has also refused his main meal, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so just said I would keep if for him if he wanted it later (luckily he did). I don’t want him to also start refusing his main meal. He has had anxiety about eating in the past but this was linked to other triggers and I was always able to understand what was happening and support the other issues which then resolved the changes in eating (I.e. during his SATs he refused to eat but once finished he started eating again). This time there seems to be no apparent anxiety or distress for other reasons, which is why it is concerning me more. He is very happy and settled at school, I’ve tried talking with him gently that everybody needs energy from food at all times including in school to keep healthy and do the things we want to. I have gently asked why but he can’t explain to me why things have changed or why he refuses to eat foods he has eaten previously. He has poor interoception and I suggested he may not feel hungry but should still try and eat something. 

Should I be worried?
How can I best support my son?

What might explain this change in behaviour around food and eating?
Does anyone experience going long periods of time without eating and this works for them?

If you have read this far, thank you. 

Parents

  • Hi there - I used to behave in a similar way - had no appitite until later in the day - I'm still the same, rigid meal times simply don't suit me, and I fixate on different food types depending on mood... Unfortunately, this was overlooked as child, but I worked it out in later life. My advice is not to worry to much re this issue, as it's normal - just continue to talk about it in a casual way without pressure, as that can have an adverse affect. Maybe just let him eat what he wants for now and make sure you eat normally in front of him, as the one thing he can control in his life is his food choices, hence part of the reason it occurs at his age.

Reply

  • Hi there - I used to behave in a similar way - had no appitite until later in the day - I'm still the same, rigid meal times simply don't suit me, and I fixate on different food types depending on mood... Unfortunately, this was overlooked as child, but I worked it out in later life. My advice is not to worry to much re this issue, as it's normal - just continue to talk about it in a casual way without pressure, as that can have an adverse affect. Maybe just let him eat what he wants for now and make sure you eat normally in front of him, as the one thing he can control in his life is his food choices, hence part of the reason it occurs at his age.

Children
  • in reply to zorro

    Hi, 

    thank you for taking the time to reply and share your experience, this information is so valuable. 

    I did wonder if food is something he can control particularly as he is getting older but I wasn’t sure. I try and give options for meals or ask if he wants me to buy any food when shopping but I think sometimes this puts pressure on him so it’s hard to get the balance. Previously, he used to get agitated when he was hungry or would not eat because of things happening but maybe as he’s getting older he’s more like you now and his mood (and hormones) affects his appetite. 

    Part of my brain says “it’s society that sets the rules on how and when we eat so it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t look the same for my son” then another part will panic “it will lead on to other issues, what do I do” 

    it’s reassuring to know an alternative approach works for you and this may be the same for my son