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Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

BeaE

I have tried various hobbies over the years, but it always just feels like I'm filling time, or forcing myself into doing things that society approves of. I've not actually liked doing any of the things.

The tiredness or anxiety caused by hobbies and 'fun' pursuits just doesn't seem worth it. Quiet crafty hobbies or reading generally just feel like filling time, and then I feel bad for not being out and about, or bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

For as long as I can remember, I've devoted most of my energy to work or study. Maybe this is why hobbies are less appealing to me - 'living to work' not 'working to live' and all that.

I'm wondering if other people feel like this too, or if you actually have found things that are enjoyable and fulfilling? If I just keep trying with a hobby, will enjoyment for it arise at some point? Maybe I just don't know I'm enjoying things, like alexithymia? 

Any input would be great please, just trying to figure this out!

Parents

  • A hobby is just something you like doing in your spare time. There is nothing special about it. It could be growing things in a greenhouse, painting, playing computer games, learning a language, reading, watching documentaries, doing maths puzzles, knitting, etc.

    It passes time and is  sort of rewarding or relaxing.

    If you do a job that also holds your interest you may need a defined hobby less. I wouldn't overthink it.

  • in reply to Stuart333
    Stuart333 said:
    If you do a job that also holds your interest you may need a defined hobby less

    Thank you, I think this might be the case. Though I've realised that perhaps a lack of other interests does leave me open to a bit of an identity crisis when issues with inevitably arise at work, or when the academic year ends. 

  • in reply to BeaE

    I actually really get this. My work is one of my biggest intertests and when it's going well it's really fulfilling (and when it's not I get really depressed as I have self esteem issues). 

    Due to the hours I work, i can be too tired to do much else other than a half hour decompress watching a light tv programme.  I like reading and when I'm really into my book, that's all I want to do when I have any free time (and when ti's really exciting then I neglect other things to do it). But if I'm tired, I can't do much and often just need to go to bed.

    But then when I do have some elusive freetime, I don't have any other hobbies on the go, so I can be lost and not know what to do with myself -just sitting on the sofa in my own mind. I know I love drawing and gaming, but when you haven't done anything in a while it's hard to get into it again. Part of this I know is to do with being a mum and identity loss there, but I was never strong at having my own identity anyway (tending to fit around people and what I am doing). So yeah, I do get it when you say free time can lead to an identy crisis.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I very much relate to this (apart from the parenting bit, which I imagine makes things much more complicated!) I'm glad it's not just me! 

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