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Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

BeaE

I have tried various hobbies over the years, but it always just feels like I'm filling time, or forcing myself into doing things that society approves of. I've not actually liked doing any of the things.

The tiredness or anxiety caused by hobbies and 'fun' pursuits just doesn't seem worth it. Quiet crafty hobbies or reading generally just feel like filling time, and then I feel bad for not being out and about, or bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

For as long as I can remember, I've devoted most of my energy to work or study. Maybe this is why hobbies are less appealing to me - 'living to work' not 'working to live' and all that.

I'm wondering if other people feel like this too, or if you actually have found things that are enjoyable and fulfilling? If I just keep trying with a hobby, will enjoyment for it arise at some point? Maybe I just don't know I'm enjoying things, like alexithymia? 

Any input would be great please, just trying to figure this out!

Parents

  • Yes, I think I'm typically (autistically) monotropic in my interests.

    It has tended to be photography with ancillary apps to work with eg Photoshop + filters, for many years.

    However, I do have other interests such as gardening, wildlife, nature generally including animals and insects (I have a bee obsession at the moment) and reading.

    With regard to reading, I don't watch TV or listen to radio so really I don't see it as a hobby but rather a way of life.

    With regard to 'all for show' I wasn't sure what you mean?

    BeaE said:
    bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

    It sounds as though the projects you refer to here might be described as hobbies, or are they something else, eg. related to work?

    Are you saying that you feel you 'ought' to be doing them but actually aren't keen?

    If that is the case then just don't do them - throw or give them away - they are there for pleasure not as a task that must be done.

    It's counterproductive for you to have things hanging around that stress/affect you because you feel you ought to do them.

Reply

  • Yes, I think I'm typically (autistically) monotropic in my interests.

    It has tended to be photography with ancillary apps to work with eg Photoshop + filters, for many years.

    However, I do have other interests such as gardening, wildlife, nature generally including animals and insects (I have a bee obsession at the moment) and reading.

    With regard to reading, I don't watch TV or listen to radio so really I don't see it as a hobby but rather a way of life.

    With regard to 'all for show' I wasn't sure what you mean?

    BeaE said:
    bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

    It sounds as though the projects you refer to here might be described as hobbies, or are they something else, eg. related to work?

    Are you saying that you feel you 'ought' to be doing them but actually aren't keen?

    If that is the case then just don't do them - throw or give them away - they are there for pleasure not as a task that must be done.

    It's counterproductive for you to have things hanging around that stress/affect you because you feel you ought to do them.

Children
  • in reply to B

    Thank you for your reply, I think perhaps I'm thinking about these things too narrowly.

    B said:
    With regard to 'all for show' I wasn't sure what you mean?

    By this I meant do people pretend to like a hobby to look cool, or attract friends, or do what they 'should' be doing.

    E.g. a lot of people who are my age have the hobby of going to the gym. I'm unsure if they actually like going to the gym, or if it serves their lifestyle in a different way.

    B said:
    It sounds as though the projects you refer to here might be described as hobbies

    I've tried various hobbies including craft projects, but just seem to be generally disinterested in them. I've tried to do various hobbies that I felt that I should be doing, in the hope that I would like them. Like you say it has been counterproductive to force myself into things just because I feel I ought to!