Embarrassed

Hi

Just got back from my assesment and feel mortified.  At the end of what I thought was quite superficial questioning and lasting only 90mins I was told I was very probably not AS.  I feel very embarassed and wonder how something so complex could be decided on so quickly.  I can't describe how bad I feel.  I suppose the fact that I come across as quite spontanious and at ease in conversation doesn't help.  I feel like a phoney and that I have trivialised AS.  I already have diagnosis for dyslexia (2 hour assesment) and ADD/ADHD (3 x 2 hour assesment) - also dyscalculia, dyspraxia, OCD and anxiety disorder.

I'm very confused, I feel stupid.

Parents
  • Hi

    Thanks for your reply.  I didn't fill in any questionaires.  They didn't ask about stuff like sensory overload, meltdowns, social exhaustion or various other things I deal with on a daily basis.  They asked me about friends, family history, school, bullying, exploitation/abuse (financial, physical, sexual), about rituals and routines.  I'm very spontanious even adept in conversation, inside though it's all systems go and I'm constantly checking my body language, tone of voice, eye contact etc.  I'm really good at being charming, then when it's over I get depressed and tired. 

    I was actually assessed by the local autism service and the women said they had years of experience assessing AS in women.  I didn't take time to pause and consider the questions, and got in that eager to please groove which I think totally misrepresented myself.  But it did feel they were basing their decision on my social skills.  Maybe I am just a phoney.  I feel pretty mortified.  I find ordinary day to day life difficult and can't cope with stuff others seem to take for granted, I only have friends that are a bit awkward and flawed, and I don't even see people that often because it's tiring.  Argh.  I had to get out of there because I felt a lock down coming on, felt like I'd been emptied out. I haven't been able to do anything today.  But yes, it was a proper Autism service assessment and I'm gobsmacked that a decision could be made in 90 mins.

Reply
  • Hi

    Thanks for your reply.  I didn't fill in any questionaires.  They didn't ask about stuff like sensory overload, meltdowns, social exhaustion or various other things I deal with on a daily basis.  They asked me about friends, family history, school, bullying, exploitation/abuse (financial, physical, sexual), about rituals and routines.  I'm very spontanious even adept in conversation, inside though it's all systems go and I'm constantly checking my body language, tone of voice, eye contact etc.  I'm really good at being charming, then when it's over I get depressed and tired. 

    I was actually assessed by the local autism service and the women said they had years of experience assessing AS in women.  I didn't take time to pause and consider the questions, and got in that eager to please groove which I think totally misrepresented myself.  But it did feel they were basing their decision on my social skills.  Maybe I am just a phoney.  I feel pretty mortified.  I find ordinary day to day life difficult and can't cope with stuff others seem to take for granted, I only have friends that are a bit awkward and flawed, and I don't even see people that often because it's tiring.  Argh.  I had to get out of there because I felt a lock down coming on, felt like I'd been emptied out. I haven't been able to do anything today.  But yes, it was a proper Autism service assessment and I'm gobsmacked that a decision could be made in 90 mins.

Children
No Data