Embarrassed

Clarkycat, they should have had you fill out a questionnaire at the very least.

I was diagnosed in my late teens and the tests I performed involved me filling in a questionnaire detailling my responses on a scale of 1-5 in different situations. I was also asked to look at a series of pictures of a persons' eyes and determine how they felt (I guessed on every picture and told the assessor as such).

Many women diagnosed with ASD are usually at the far end of the autistic spectrum and cannot function without any assistance, there's a very good chance you may have Aspergers Syndrome. Female 'Aspies' are better at adapting to social situations (in that we can mimic 'normal' behaviour well enough for short periods of time to fool others). BUT, having difficulty in social situations doesn't mean you neccessarily avoid them at all costs.

Since my diagnosis and going to Uni, I've become a lot more sociable and far better in conversation, so much so that many of my tutors forget I have Aspergers unless I remind them as such on the exceedingly rare occassion that I need a little more help. I was even able to successfully manage my entire year group for a project at the end of last year (essentially I had to ensure that 37 people were communicating effectively, working together, on schedule, and that the project progressed) which meant I spent days talking and working with multiple people happily when before I'd have run away to hide in my room for hours on end. I'm now even considering a career which requires these skills in communication, and am looking forward to working with people. Most of my 'issues' that come with my condition are often regarded as quirks and are overlooked by my peers, which makes me happy as I'm accepted for being myself. I can now regard an entire year group with fondness rather than with the hostile wariness I usually associate with that amount of people.

While Aspergers is often regarded as less 'servere' than Autism, the conditions that comes with it (anxiety, troubles behaving in social situations, meltdowns, hyperawareness, OCD etc) can be crippling, if not deadly. Many of the symptoms you described are the elements that led to my own diagnosis. What you must do however, is go prepared. You must spell it out for them, I'd even advise writing a letter listing all the problems you have, with a sentence describing how it affects your life next to each point. Unless you can show in terms they can't contest that you are struggling and -need- a diagnosis, they will continue to try and fob you off.

Regardless of whether you have the condition or not, it doesn't define you. Make sure you get the help you need in order to live a happy and functional life. A diagnosis is simply a tool you use to get access to assistance when needed, it's not the only way, but it is one of the most direct routes. Best of luck.

I am so sorry you feel like that. What were the reasons you thought you had AS in the first place? Have you spoken to any friends about your ideas? What were their reactions? Please don't feel like a fool - whatever, you are still you, and you still have your own struggles. You are unique and your own perspective on yourself is always the most important. Nobody can diagnose your personality.

Hello Lydia

I asked my assessors if they considered the differences between male and female AS and they said they had many years experience of diagnosing women and were aware.  I did say I disagreed with their diagnosis and they said they would see me again in October, I don't think I want to go back though, it'll be the same people and after talking to someone on the NAS helpline today they basically said that apart from the other 'symptoms' of AS the social anxiety, social empathy, difficulties with social interaction are essential elements, I'm too extrovert and good at conversation I don't want to waste any more time or energy on it, and to be honest feel too embarassed to go back.

they should not have made a decision so quickly. I was told that it is always necessary to meet with a person at least 2 or 3 times before reaching a decision. Whatever, please don't feel embarrassed - you have not been stupid, you have genuine struggles, and deep inside I think you know that the service have reached a decision too quickly. Are you female? If so, does the service have a proper understanding of the differences between men and women on the spectrum? Women can be very good at masking symptoms, while struggling profoundly on the inside. I am sorry you feel let down xxx

Oh and just to add, my family are all dead so no body to ask, plus my friends all live in the north and i'm in the south west.

Hi

Thanks for your reply.  I didn't fill in any questionaires.  They didn't ask about stuff like sensory overload, meltdowns, social exhaustion or various other things I deal with on a daily basis.  They asked me about friends, family history, school, bullying, exploitation/abuse (financial, physical, sexual), about rituals and routines.  I'm very spontanious even adept in conversation, inside though it's all systems go and I'm constantly checking my body language, tone of voice, eye contact etc.  I'm really good at being charming, then when it's over I get depressed and tired. 

I was actually assessed by the local autism service and the women said they had years of experience assessing AS in women.  I didn't take time to pause and consider the questions, and got in that eager to please groove which I think totally misrepresented myself.  But it did feel they were basing their decision on my social skills.  Maybe I am just a phoney.  I feel pretty mortified.  I find ordinary day to day life difficult and can't cope with stuff others seem to take for granted, I only have friends that are a bit awkward and flawed, and I don't even see people that often because it's tiring.  Argh.  I had to get out of there because I felt a lock down coming on, felt like I'd been emptied out. I haven't been able to do anything today.  But yes, it was a proper Autism service assessment and I'm gobsmacked that a decision could be made in 90 mins.

Situations like yours are reported quite often on here.

Were you diagnosed at a proper diagnostic centre? Each local authority should have one or have access to one in the next county.

Quite a few people report having a diagnosis done by a nurse in a medical centre or by someone with a general background in an ordinary clinic. There seems to be little regulation surrounding such events

You can ask for a reassessment at a proper diagnistic centre if that didn't happen this time. And you have a right to an explanation if it was not a proper diagnosis.

Superficial questioning doesn't sound right at all. You would have filled in AG and other questionnaires beforehand. Issues from this would be discussed with you quite closely. You should have been asked about school reports, and someone older who knew you as a child, preferably a parent would also have been interviewed.

If this has not been done, it sounds like unprofessional quackery has gone. I wish I could say that you should take action, but frankly proper diagnosis is a postcode lottery and some practitioners are an utter disgrace.