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Autism Parenthood

AloeVera

My partner is neurotypical and I have Autism. In recent years my partner has been talking about having a child. I like the idea of having a child but I worry about many things. Mainly being able to support them.

I work but I struggle with social anxiety (the occasional panic attack) and do not currently earn enough to support my partner and a child.

If we decided to become parents, is there much help out there if I become the sole earner for the household?

Thanks

Parents

  • Everyine is different and every life experience can make it all very different. 

    I will share the struggles I ahd as a parent (my son is now 23 oy, and independente, thank god, And is not autistic like me but he has Adhd)

    I found incredibly hard to do things the way other mothers did. I didn't have enough executive function or energy to look after me and my child and my career. So I worked because I had to support my child but my career was messy and never what I wanted. I focused on being a good mother and I was but for all his childhood I neglected myself completely,. Mentally,. Physically etc. I could do one thing right but that was it. 

    Also I couldn't socialise with other mothers, which made harder for my son to have friends outside of school hours. 

    And due to my sensitivity I suffered immensely. Way too much love in the way made it really hard to navigate my emotions. When he became a teenager it was extremely painful for me as I couldn't communicate effectively and couldn't confront him so I would run away in shutdown. He hated to see that I couldn't have a conversation and would always run away. 

    Now that he is an adult I love the fact that I created a decent human beings and I wish he would live with me but when he comes to visit even though I love him so very much I struggle to be around him as I get anxious and get on mask mode as I feel around other adults. The idea of him being an adult and being able to recognise the things that are wrong with me freak me out. I am in constant emotional pain. 

    My son is what and whom I love most in my life but also the most painful thing for me to deal with and I think I shouldn't have been a mom 

Reply

  • Everyine is different and every life experience can make it all very different. 

    I will share the struggles I ahd as a parent (my son is now 23 oy, and independente, thank god, And is not autistic like me but he has Adhd)

    I found incredibly hard to do things the way other mothers did. I didn't have enough executive function or energy to look after me and my child and my career. So I worked because I had to support my child but my career was messy and never what I wanted. I focused on being a good mother and I was but for all his childhood I neglected myself completely,. Mentally,. Physically etc. I could do one thing right but that was it. 

    Also I couldn't socialise with other mothers, which made harder for my son to have friends outside of school hours. 

    And due to my sensitivity I suffered immensely. Way too much love in the way made it really hard to navigate my emotions. When he became a teenager it was extremely painful for me as I couldn't communicate effectively and couldn't confront him so I would run away in shutdown. He hated to see that I couldn't have a conversation and would always run away. 

    Now that he is an adult I love the fact that I created a decent human beings and I wish he would live with me but when he comes to visit even though I love him so very much I struggle to be around him as I get anxious and get on mask mode as I feel around other adults. The idea of him being an adult and being able to recognise the things that are wrong with me freak me out. I am in constant emotional pain. 

    My son is what and whom I love most in my life but also the most painful thing for me to deal with and I think I shouldn't have been a mom 

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