Autism Parenthood

Hey AloeVera, welcome to the forum. 

I'm autistic, and I have 2 kids, 1 diagnosed and 1 suspected. Their dad is NT. Only you and your partner will know what to do, but I can give my experience.

One thing I think will go in your favour it's knowing you are autistic and hopefully you know your areas of required support, and you probably know the signs to watch out for in children. Knowing will help navigate parenthood much better, you can find help and suggestions as you know what to search for. I only found out last year, and it's really helped understand myself and my children better and helped me and my husband to be better parents -I now know why my son shutsdown when I don't have his routine breakfast, and why my daughter was struggling so much in the playground with the noise.

Although kids do cost, how much is down to the parents. If you buy everything top of the range brand new it's pricey, but kids grow out of clothes so fast, second hand clothes are still really good. I had the first few years of clothes given to me by someone my husband knew, which meant we just got a few nice things ourselves. We also were lucky to get given lots of toys from their cousins. If it becomes relevant, there are tricks to help if you search for them. I grew up in a poorer household, and I think it can make you more robust and creative with what you have.

Does your partner have a job now that would mean they get maternity pay for a year, and what 'paternity' you might receive? (You as the other partner should be entitled to some leave too). We can't give any financial advice, but if you look up child benefit, and there some tax credit thing for married couples to transfer between them, but you need to go look that up yourself or speak to someone like CAB. Also, you could discuss with your partner about when they might be able to return to work after maternity. Knowing how long you might be sole earner might help with anxiety. 

I adore my kids, I couldn't have managed more than 2, my first is very laid back like his dad, the second is a lot more work but I wouldn't change them for the world!

Hey AloeVera, welcome to the forum. 

I'm autistic, and I have 2 kids, 1 diagnosed and 1 suspected. Their dad is NT. Only you and your partner will know what to do, but I can give my experience.

One thing I think will go in your favour it's knowing you are autistic and hopefully you know your areas of required support, and you probably know the signs to watch out for in children. Knowing will help navigate parenthood much better, you can find help and suggestions as you know what to search for. I only found out last year, and it's really helped understand myself and my children better and helped me and my husband to be better parents -I now know why my son shutsdown when I don't have his routine breakfast, and why my daughter was struggling so much in the playground with the noise.

Although kids do cost, how much is down to the parents. If you buy everything top of the range brand new it's pricey, but kids grow out of clothes so fast, second hand clothes are still really good. I had the first few years of clothes given to me by someone my husband knew, which meant we just got a few nice things ourselves. We also were lucky to get given lots of toys from their cousins. If it becomes relevant, there are tricks to help if you search for them. I grew up in a poorer household, and I think it can make you more robust and creative with what you have.

Does your partner have a job now that would mean they get maternity pay for a year, and what 'paternity' you might receive? (You as the other partner should be entitled to some leave too). We can't give any financial advice, but if you look up child benefit, and there some tax credit thing for married couples to transfer between them, but you need to go look that up yourself or speak to someone like CAB. Also, you could discuss with your partner about when they might be able to return to work after maternity. Knowing how long you might be sole earner might help with anxiety. 

I adore my kids, I couldn't have managed more than 2, my first is very laid back like his dad, the second is a lot more work but I wouldn't change them for the world!