Autism Parenthood

Hi, AloeVera! I can't advise,  but I can share some of my experience.  I'm not officially diagnosed,  but strongly suspected autistic,  both by myself and my therapist. My husband is NT, probably HSP (i would say) and introvert,  but not having any social difficulties. Our daughter is more like daddy, definitely different than me. I remember while being pregnant I hoped, that my child would not be like me (I had developmental delays since early childhood and didn't play with other children,  also had a lot of difficulties at school). And then I promised myself, if it happens,  that my future child inherits my weird personality disorder,  then I would take them to a psychologist for help. 

4 years later found out about autism and myself  strangely fitting into the description of the condition. So I had no idea at that time but I had some feelings and thoughts that maybe i should never become a mother. Currently we have one daughter and I decided that's enough. 

I have difficulties in reading expressions,  that affects my communication with my husband and daughter, I also struggle to show and control expressions myself.  I struggle with hyperfocus and not hearing when being called (I have no hearing issues). It affects my daughter,  because she must scream to me or even bite me to get my attention.  Currently I'm on meds, that make my functioning better.

I also receive external support in raising my daughter. That lady helps me understand my daughter,  informs me about her intentions and when she really struggles to do something or she does deliberately. My husband asked me what's wrong with me when he saw my repetitive behaviours, I couldn't hide it from him anymore. My mask slipped off when the child appeared. Now he got used to it and I showed him tge paper that my therapist gave me. 

I also have strengths where my husband has weaknesses. Because if my limited ability to share someone's feelings, I feel nothing when my daughter makes drama (for example when I refuse something). So I'm calm, consequent, I also have some creative ways of dealing with her moods. I fail in a role play but parallel activities,  also creative works are my strengths. 

Hi, AloeVera! I can't advise,  but I can share some of my experience.  I'm not officially diagnosed,  but strongly suspected autistic,  both by myself and my therapist. My husband is NT, probably HSP (i would say) and introvert,  but not having any social difficulties. Our daughter is more like daddy, definitely different than me. I remember while being pregnant I hoped, that my child would not be like me (I had developmental delays since early childhood and didn't play with other children,  also had a lot of difficulties at school). And then I promised myself, if it happens,  that my future child inherits my weird personality disorder,  then I would take them to a psychologist for help. 

4 years later found out about autism and myself  strangely fitting into the description of the condition. So I had no idea at that time but I had some feelings and thoughts that maybe i should never become a mother. Currently we have one daughter and I decided that's enough. 

I have difficulties in reading expressions,  that affects my communication with my husband and daughter, I also struggle to show and control expressions myself.  I struggle with hyperfocus and not hearing when being called (I have no hearing issues). It affects my daughter,  because she must scream to me or even bite me to get my attention.  Currently I'm on meds, that make my functioning better.

I also receive external support in raising my daughter. That lady helps me understand my daughter,  informs me about her intentions and when she really struggles to do something or she does deliberately. My husband asked me what's wrong with me when he saw my repetitive behaviours, I couldn't hide it from him anymore. My mask slipped off when the child appeared. Now he got used to it and I showed him tge paper that my therapist gave me. 

I also have strengths where my husband has weaknesses. Because if my limited ability to share someone's feelings, I feel nothing when my daughter makes drama (for example when I refuse something). So I'm calm, consequent, I also have some creative ways of dealing with her moods. I fail in a role play but parallel activities,  also creative works are my strengths.