Autism and health anxiety as I get older

if you can bend it you should be fine in a few days 

I can bend it but it is super painful and swollen. That definitely didn’t sound like rule no 6 

i would go get your finger checked out just in case looks a bit swollen to be sure

he definately wasnt looking, I think he realised it was his fault luckily I am not a vexaous litigent. My back is grazed pretty badly and I have a very sore finger. I really don't know if its fractured. Its things like this, on my own which can take me over the edge. Any doctors in the house? I won’t take it as medical advice.

i hooe your ok, its not ok that a car driver failed to check mirror before opening doir theyre supposed to use the opposite arm to open door as it forces to check mirrors, you can actually report them too

I got hit by a car door and fell off my bike today, it takes longer to heal I have noticed as I get older. I nearly took myself to hospital it was touch and go. Many more things I would like to be doing in a Sunday.

I find limiting the amount of exertion on myself helps by reducing demands on myself, the mind likes racing ahead. I often make mistakes by not paying as much attention to myself when I am tired. Mainly I need extra energy sometimes to focus more on caring for myself, I don’t know how this will be in 20 years time. I have heard this is why some people have children.

Mainly I’d say you need to be more focused on staying healthy and managing you lr time around that because it’s not selfish. If that is how you stay the best you can for others. 

When you’ve put something on a timeline it helps you mentally prepare, so when that suddenly collapses it can feel very unsettling, I totally get that.

The waiting and not knowing can be incredibly hard to manage.

While a diagnosis can bring some answers, I’ve found that connecting with supportive spaces and people who understand can still really help in the meantime.

Keep reaching out.

Im incredibly frustrated as I just had a letter from the assessing service saying they can no longer tell me when/if I might be assessed, I guessed I had another years wait. Their service has had to reduce as the funding has been diverted to assessing children. I understand how important it is to be diagnosed ss a child, I wish I had that option. 

I realise now it unsettled me so much because something I had put on a timeline now has increasing uncertnity as this timeline has collapsed resulting to frustration and meltdowns.

hiDownsideup 

I also find accessing services difficult, especially things like phone calls and waiting rooms.

I can understand why a diagnosis would feel important, particularly to help professionals understand your needs better and avoid the kind of misunderstandings you experienced before.

The long waiting lists are really frustrating. You’re not alone in feeling this way

Im not sure I i have medical anxiety but I do struggle accessing services. I have good understanding of medical issues and work to keep myself healthy so I dont need to access the services. 

Im not diagnosed yet, the waiting list gets longer and longer so I have to accept it may not happen. One of the reasons I wanted a diagnosis was to get people to understand how difficult using the phone is and waiting rooms often leave me unable to speak or understand efficiently. 

In the past I was treated and medicated incorrectly, I believe an autism diagnosis would have prevented this. 

For me this is the hardest thing about getting older. 

Thank you DormouseAtRest_25 

Thank you Kate Kestrel  

To quote Ram Dass

”we’re all just walking each other home”

I meant to add: I use the type of notebook which is sold with 10 dividers produced as part of it during the manufacture ... otherwise it can bristle with self-adhesive different colour page tabs stuck here and there.

Yes. The uncertainty is terrifying but I’m grateful that you told me of your experience. This solidarity gives strength and assurance.

Thank you - it helps me too to know that I am not alone is struggling so much with these things. When I saw your post I really wanted to reply as I feel so much solidarity with anyone who struggles in this way. It can be utterly draining. I like Ram Dass too - and for me being in nature is my most reliable source of comfort and healing. 
And yes - I don’t want to die either. My thoughts go to suicide only when I panic and feel overwhelmed - but deep down I know I would not act on it. I want to live. I want to live with less fear - so that’s my aim. 
I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with a health issue at the moment - that sounds hugely challenging. It sounds like you have some good approaches - like you I think to have one’s focus on ‘being’ and living in the present moment is the best mindset to have. We really can improve our perspective and reduce our mental suffering - it takes time but it really can be fruitful. 
Thanks for raising this subject on here - so many people are dealing with this type of anxiety on a day to day basis and to know we are not alone makes a huge difference. As we say in Buddhism :  “May you be well, may you be happy, may you be peaceful”

This is amazing - thank you for sharing it. 

I am pleased for you Lonehare12 and because I have been able to help someone else :-)

We're here to help one another :-)

Best Wishes

Yes I do see the metaphor.

That idea of tending something carefully, bit by bit, without letting it take over really resonates.

So far so good….feels like a gentle and realistic place to be.

Thank you

 ️

Thanks Lonehare12 

In respect of doing thing in parts further:

In 3 sessions I've pruned the walnut tree in my garden over the past few days.

This is the 3rd year on the trot I've done so.  Learning from the experience as I go.  It's good mental and physical exercise which I have enjoyed.

I have had to be careful with the timing as walnut trees don't really like being cut back as I understand it.

If I don't do it tho' it will get so big it will be far too big for where we planted it.

It's getting a shape now where I hope it will be self contained and easy on the eye as well as easier to share our garden with.

The crown of the tree is now "lifted" to provide shade and a lovely citrus scent from the leaves which also dissuades insects from bothering us whilst close to it.  (oh and the "blessed" squirrels a meal or 2 but that's another saga...)

The tree commemorates the passing of my wife's eldest brother so it is symbolically important.  I want to look after it but I don't want it to dominate or become dangerous so I take the risk of it being upset by how I keep it in check.

That said if it does succumb to my best intentions I will be sad but I will have done my best.

At the moment - so far so good. 

Maybe you can sense the metaphor I am making here?

I figure that nature, as well as allowing one's thoughts to settle, can shape them and also be an expression of them.  :-)

Best Wishes