Autism and health anxiety as I get older

I have had health anxiety for as long as I can remember - and it’s still one of my biggest problems. I spent a lot of time in hospital as a child and that’s possibly one of the reasons it’s such an issue for me, but since realising I’m autistic I can now understand that there are myriad reasons while this would be an issue for me. I had a serious, life threatening illness in late 2021 and that left me with PTSD and terrible, extreme health anxiety that has taken me a long long time to make progress with. Only by mid 2025 was I starting to live a more normal life really. So I have so much empathy for anyone who struggles with health anxiety - because it’s an awful thing to struggle with. 
I think it can get worse with age - for various reasons. The fact that we’re more susceptible to illness as we age is an easy thing to get paranoid about. Also I’ve found that the menopause increases anxiety issues. And also we can have relatives or friends that get ill or die - which again makes us more paranoid. The pandemic hasn’t helped of course. And also I think being older can make you just think more about illness and death as - let’s face it - the inevitable is nearer. 
Anyway - I’ve tried lots of approaches to improving my health anxiety issues. I had NHS talking therapy over the phone for the PTSD after my illness - and that definitely helped me. Also I withdrew a lot from people for a while - and that gave me time to recover without too much ‘threat’ around me (I was very anxious for a long time about catching viruses of any kind). And then I got really into the teachings of the Buddhist Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh - and that’s possibly definitely has massively helped me. They have a thing they say : “it is the nature of being human to get sick, it is the nature of being human to die” - we cannot escape these things. We have to accept it. We try to run away from it and that just makes us more scared. Fight or flight doesn’t get rid of our fear. The only way to cure a fear is to face what we fear. The ‘running away’ only makes things worse. We will one day get sick, we will one day die. We have to accept it. That knowledge can help us to see the true value of LIFE - and make the most of the time we have. Buddhist teachings on ‘no birth, no death’ are also really fascinating. I would recommend them to anyone struggling to accept the fact that we will all one day die. Also teachings on impermanence and attachment, inter-being and ‘no self’ and ‘emptiness’. . A lot of other cultures and philosophies have a great deal to offer in helping us to face illness and mortality. Western societies are very poor in this respect - they focus on the self and the ego, and hide away death and make it a taboo subject - which increases the fear. 
What helped me most was the writings and talks of Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village - these teachings are widely available and free on YouTube and the podcast ‘The Way Out is In’. There are lots of books and audiobooks.

We can’t escape illness and death. Obviously we can help ourselves a bit by living healthy lifestyles - but no matter how we life we will all one day get sick and die. We have to accept that - and if we can cultivate acceptance of it we will feel less fear of it. It will never be easy - but it’s not right to ruin our lives because we are constantly living in fear of something that is in the future and also inevitable. I’ve found Mindfulness very helpful - because the majority of the time we are not ill NOW. The more we can live in the present moment the less we will fear what’s in the future. 

I still have health anxiety - I have bad days sometimes with it - but the things I’ve learned from Thich Nhat Hanh and Plum Village have been a massive help to me. I can now live a life that is much closer to ‘normal’ than previously. I still have a way to go and will probably always struggle a bit with it - but I have some really helpful ‘tools’ now to help me cope much better. I want to express my solidarity with everyone who struggles with health anxiety - because it’s a very unpleasant thing indeed. At times I’ve felt suicidal because if it - which is ironic really isn’t it?! 

Thank you so much for sharing thisKate Kestrel  .

I really felt the empathy in what you wrote, and I’m sorry you went through such a frightening illness  it makes a lot of sense that health anxiety would deepen after that.

A lot of what you said about age, uncertainty and mortality really resonated with me.

I recently had a health scare where I didn’t know if a lump in my head was life-threatening, and my anxiety spiralled quickly. Now I am just waiting to see if they are going to operate because it may affect my eye it isn’t straightforward.

What is helping me is going into nature and listening to Ram Dass podcasts it helps quieten the noise and bring me back into the present. I am trying to live in being rather than outcomes.

I will look into Thich Nhat Hanh.

I also related to what you said about feeling suicidal at times for me it isn’t about wanting to die, but about wanting the noise to stop.

It helps to know I’m not alone in that.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response.

Thank you so much for sharing thisKate Kestrel  .

I really felt the empathy in what you wrote, and I’m sorry you went through such a frightening illness  it makes a lot of sense that health anxiety would deepen after that.

A lot of what you said about age, uncertainty and mortality really resonated with me.

I recently had a health scare where I didn’t know if a lump in my head was life-threatening, and my anxiety spiralled quickly. Now I am just waiting to see if they are going to operate because it may affect my eye it isn’t straightforward.

What is helping me is going into nature and listening to Ram Dass podcasts it helps quieten the noise and bring me back into the present. I am trying to live in being rather than outcomes.

I will look into Thich Nhat Hanh.

I also related to what you said about feeling suicidal at times for me it isn’t about wanting to die, but about wanting the noise to stop.

It helps to know I’m not alone in that.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response.