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Starting over at 55. Autism, relationship's and connection

Lonehare12


I’m 55, autistic, and have spent much of my life caring for others like the“I-can-help” robot in Fargo.Robot always pleasing and denying myself.

Therapy helped me understand my autism and my situation within relationships.

Now I’m trying to make new connections and explore friendships and relationships, including aspects of my LGBTQ+ identity.

It feels hard, and I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it at this stage. New social situations can be overwhelming, and I often feel lonely.

But I’m learning that even small steps showing up, reaching out, exploring interests can make a difference.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s faced similar challenges later in life.

How did you build connections or come to terms with your past?

And how do you find the motivation to keep pushing on when the world and people can be so scary.?

Parents

  • Hi, Lonehare12,

    I just read your post and thread in tears. I completely relate. I'm 56 and finally admitted to myself about a year ago that I'm autistic. A couple of days ago I approached the doctor for the first time to initiate a diagnosis. 

    I struggle with so many things in life; from socialising, to work, to understanding online forms. I've got to the point where I'm living in a van and have no money. The obstacles feel insurmountable right now.

    I have always struggled with relationships, I now identify as asexual. Friendships are sporadic and often not deep.

    I feel less alone for finding this community, thanks guys.

  • in reply to treespirit

    Connecting to emotions and realising oneself to be autistic is tough and it comes at a time when one is often at a low ebb.

    I love trees - they demonstrate natures cycles with such beauty :-)

Reply Children
  • in reply to treespirit

    "my fingers itching to make this post about 3 pages long"  hehe understood!

    maybe that's why the Japanese invented Haiku!

    maybe compose one on your walk :-)

  • in reply to Phased

    I love trees too... When I was considering my autistic traits, I thought hey, I don't have a special interest... Then I realised that trees, woodland, working with wood has been my entire adult life and my sanctuary since I was 8 and moved away from the seaside, (which was my obsession before that Joy) I remember feeling completely dislocated when we moved, and listlessly wandering through the countryside, missing the sea. Until I discovered woodland, that is (hence the username) In fact, I can feel my fingers itching to make this post about 3 pages long, so I'd better hit reply and walk away Grimacing