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Starting over at 55. Autism, relationship's and connection

Lonehare12


I’m 55, autistic, and have spent much of my life caring for others like the“I-can-help” robot in Fargo.Robot always pleasing and denying myself.

Therapy helped me understand my autism and my situation within relationships.

Now I’m trying to make new connections and explore friendships and relationships, including aspects of my LGBTQ+ identity.

It feels hard, and I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it at this stage. New social situations can be overwhelming, and I often feel lonely.

But I’m learning that even small steps showing up, reaching out, exploring interests can make a difference.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s faced similar challenges later in life.

How did you build connections or come to terms with your past?

And how do you find the motivation to keep pushing on when the world and people can be so scary.?

Parents

  • Hi, Lonehare12,

    I just read your post and thread in tears. I completely relate. I'm 56 and finally admitted to myself about a year ago that I'm autistic. A couple of days ago I approached the doctor for the first time to initiate a diagnosis. 

    I struggle with so many things in life; from socialising, to work, to understanding online forms. I've got to the point where I'm living in a van and have no money. The obstacles feel insurmountable right now.

    I have always struggled with relationships, I now identify as asexual. Friendships are sporadic and often not deep.

    I feel less alone for finding this community, thanks guys.

Reply

  • Hi, Lonehare12,

    I just read your post and thread in tears. I completely relate. I'm 56 and finally admitted to myself about a year ago that I'm autistic. A couple of days ago I approached the doctor for the first time to initiate a diagnosis. 

    I struggle with so many things in life; from socialising, to work, to understanding online forms. I've got to the point where I'm living in a van and have no money. The obstacles feel insurmountable right now.

    I have always struggled with relationships, I now identify as asexual. Friendships are sporadic and often not deep.

    I feel less alone for finding this community, thanks guys.

Children
  • in reply to treespirit

    Hi  and welcome.

    I’m really sorry things are so hard at the moment. It takes a lot of courage to reach out to a GP and start the diagnosis process, especially when life already feels overwhelming.

    I relate to a lot of what you said about socialising, relationships and just trying to manage the practical parts of life.

    This community has helped me feel less alone too, and I’m glad it’s giving you a bit of that as well.

    For what it’s worth, I really understand that feeling of life becoming too much. Last year, when everything felt lost, the three things that anchored me were my son, my therapist, and strangely but honestly a particular tree I used to stand with on my walks. Those were the only beings that made me feel steady.

    Take care of yourself, and I’m glad you’re here with us.

    (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠Heart

  • in reply to treespirit

    Welcome, Tree Spirit. I'm glad this forum helps you.

  • in reply to treespirit

    Connecting to emotions and realising oneself to be autistic is tough and it comes at a time when one is often at a low ebb.

    I love trees - they demonstrate natures cycles with such beauty :-)