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Living in a HMO ( Shared Housing as an adult)

NAS92547

Hello,

Is anyone else here living in shared accomodation? I am an adult >30 years of age and have been in shared housing ( private rental) the majority of my adult life.

In my most recent house, I have really struggled with the lack of privacy, the noise of doors slamming/people have loud phonecall conversation as they walk by my bedroom door/ struggle with trying to fit into housemates routines i.e when I can use the bathroom and kitchen etc.

Its been very hard as my main traits of Autism which have been more obvious whilst living here have included....rigid thinking ( people opinions of me or behaviours towards me have meant see them as being unfriendly or unkind and so I have shut down and isolated myself)/ over-stimulation due to the noise and at times having lots of people in the kitchen when I wish to make food or get water/ frustration and irritability that I have been late for work or appointments because someone else is using the bathroom or whatever.

I just see so many barriers to me living a peaceful life and following a routine.

I have had a lot of nastiness directed toward me here and total lack of understanding or people wanting to get to know me to understand me. e.g how autism affects me, instead I have been the subject of bullying type behaviours ( gossip being spread about me locally ) and people mimicking me instead.

I'm not really entitled to sit and think everyone owes me an understanding or special treatment, but a bit of kindness wouldn't go amiss.

Does anyone else feel similar? Ive allowed housemates comments about me to really get me down and after nearly 4 years I have just struggled to keep going ( multitask working/socialising/eating etc etc), I feel very depressed and my life has sort of fallen apart, my self esteem is at an all time low and Im struggling with identity e.g am I a nice person or not due to having quite a few meltdowns throughout this time period as its been stressful.

Any advice on how to rebuild myself and my life?/ or anyone experienced this, would be helpful to hear stories about nightmare house share scenarios lol.

Thanks for reading

Parents

  • I solved this problem by moving into a flat of my own. Before that I lived in a number of shared flats / houses. Some of these were ok, but others not so. A place could be ok, then someone would leave and be replaced with someone who stirred up trouble etc. At one place I where this happened I found it so unpleasant that I paid quite a bit more to move elsewhere.

    Also above a certain number of people in a flat, I found that cliques could form, I tried not to get involved.

    Best get a place of your own.

Reply

  • I solved this problem by moving into a flat of my own. Before that I lived in a number of shared flats / houses. Some of these were ok, but others not so. A place could be ok, then someone would leave and be replaced with someone who stirred up trouble etc. At one place I where this happened I found it so unpleasant that I paid quite a bit more to move elsewhere.

    Also above a certain number of people in a flat, I found that cliques could form, I tried not to get involved.

    Best get a place of your own.

Children