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Mindfulness

Expecto_Patronum

Having just mentioned mindfulness in a response to somebody, it reminded me that I have big queries about mindfulness.

Recently I saw a video about it that described people going about their daily life noticing things. This I can believe. Their example of something people don't notice - the water in the shower. How can you possibly not notice water in the shower that is literally coming down on your head? 

It made me wonder whether this was the video somewhat exaggerating or whether it is part of my neurodivergency. I often find that I can't filter out things and it often amazes me what other people can filter out. I couldn't believe it one day when I was being driven mad by a very large flickering light and other people were saying well I didn't notice until you pointed it out. What do you mean you didn't notice? How can you possibly not have noticed? 

I wonder if this is why I strongly dislike mindfulness. It aims to make us more aware of what is happening in our bodies but I'm hyper aware. I can never block it out. Why would I want to become more aware and how would that help ground me?

I may well be after neurotypical answers for comparison but let's see what people think anyway. Is anyone unaware of the feel of the water when they have a shower? Those of you that like mindfulness - are you usually hyper aware and what is it that you like about it? Those of you that don't like mindfulness or haven't found it helpful - are you usually hyper aware and what is it you didn't like about it?

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  • I think of mindfulness as: observing thoughts, observing sensations, observing our experience.

    When people shower, most think of other things. Their attention is elsewhere. Some are very depressed and simply are like "gone" while showering. (This is me sometimes.) Some may also be worried, angry, tired.

    When applied to thoughts, it is like "looking at your own mind" without judging: observing how your thoughts pop in, and then disappear. That would be mindfulness of mind, and it is one part of meditation. 

    Mindfulness does not require all thoughts to vanish, we non-judgementally observe the mind, or sensations.

    How conscious were you of your socks, or which t-shirt you are wearing etc. etc.? We can shower without "really" noticing it.

    -----------

    Noticing things other do not, is not really mindfulness, that is different --in my view-- as I described above. That would be higher alertness, awareness or sensitivity.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    So my difficulty with this is I cannot filter out other things. I notice so many stimuli all the time. This concept of emptying your brain of all other thoughts seems an absolute impossibility. When I have previously tried mindfulness I do not end up with a calm sense or tensions reducing or anything like that. It just makes me feel worse.

    I'm just unconvinced that mindfulness is compatible with all brains.

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  • in reply to Deleted User

    So my difficulty with this is I cannot filter out other things. I notice so many stimuli all the time. This concept of emptying your brain of all other thoughts seems an absolute impossibility. When I have previously tried mindfulness I do not end up with a calm sense or tensions reducing or anything like that. It just makes me feel worse.

    I'm just unconvinced that mindfulness is compatible with all brains.

Children
  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    I think things like mindfulness and meditation take a while to achieve and that people need to be guided and taught and given a chance to talk things over when doing anything like this. Some people take to it like ducks to water, but others really struggle, espically realising how noisy your own brain is and the world around you. i would be very very wary about recommending meditation or mindfulness to anyone with any sort of disassociative disorder. Even if you don't have a disassociative disorder it can all still be a bit overwhelming, you do learn to control your thoughts and not let outside influences get to you, but it's easier said than done and takes time. I find the attitude of so many people towards mindfulness and meditation quite flippant and judgemental towards those who struggle with it, often blaming them for not being able to do it and being dismissive. In Bhuddism meditation is not universally taught, it is believed that not everyone is in the right place for it and other practices may be better.

  • in reply to Iain

    I have done full programmes of mindfulness. It has never been remotely helpful.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum
    Expecto_Patronum said:
    This concept of emptying your brain of all other thoughts seems an absolute impossibility.

    Not impossible, it is just that you have not been trained to do it yet.

    I find meditation is a good way to still the buzzing mind, to allow for a laser focussed line of thought when needed.

    Mindfulness is the cognitive skill of sustaining metacognitive awareness towards the contents of one's own mind and bodily sensations in the present moment

    So while your senses are giving you all sorts of inputs that you are very aware of, mindfulness will let you make more sense of what these mean. 

    For example if you are standing in the shower and feel the water running down your back and arms, trickling over the skin but your chest and front of your legs don't feel the same way then mindfulness and make you notice these differences and consider the cause - i.e. that you forgot to take off your baseball cap...

    It is also of use in situations where your body is highly stressed through anxiety and it lets you notice the collective impact and try to look at the causes of this, and make a decision as to whether or not to do something to reduce that anxiety.

    It requires a calm and balanced approach to looking at the situation, taking the input both sensory and cognitive and making an impartial decision as to how to adapt.

    It is very powerful when mastered but I think many people lack the patience to learn fully or dismiss it as hokum.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    I agree; it takes patience, and it may not be the right time, or something that is useful to you. I practiced many years, I don't do it right now, and it is fine for me.

    Some people find it easier with music, or using specific objects they can concentrate on in the way described above. If you find it very hard, it is fine to skip it.