Mindfulness

My understanding is mindfulness is more related to your feelings and emotions.

So it is not the fact you are standing in the shower. It whether you are stressed, anxious, worrying about other things, hot, cold, hungry, find it too bright, noisy, etc.

Instead of just bulldozing on ignoring the knot on your stomach, the slight feeling of nausea, and the fact you are exhausted, you actually pay attention to them.

Ignoring everything is what leads to the body being stressed and overloaded, emotional outbursts and eventually burnout. So recognising them, so that you can then mitigate them, by learning to relax and not feel guilty, helps to bring periods of calm which give you more margin to manage, i.e it makes you less highly strung.

I was unconvinced, but since being burnt out (again) and diagnosis, I now take it a bit more seriously. 

This isn't quite the point the video was making. The point the video was making is that people go through life not noticing things (including how they feel). And one of the things that people apparently don't notice, is the water in the shower. The idea was that if people took the time to slow down and notice these things, they'd be emotionally better off. But I can't help but notice them and I am definitely not emotionally better off. I get people ignore a lot of stimuli but I don't see how they can ignore water.

The reason I don't think mindfulness works well for me is that I notice every knot in my stomach, every slight change in my body. Noticing them does not help me because I cannot relax. Mindfulness doesn't help me to relax. It actually makes me feel more stressed.

I expect it is not that they don't notice things, it's that they don't *really* notice them. 

The shower is just jump in, get it done while thinking about the day, jump out. You didn't really experience it, you just did it as an aside. I can't believe you wouldn't notice at all that you'd got wet.

But if you don't have any particular sensitivities, perhaps it is no big deal.

Noticing things does not make you relaxed by itself.

I think there are two ideas:

1. You notice how your body is responding so you can mitigate or avoid something. Like noticing you feel tense when the overhead lights are too bright, so you wear a hat.
2. It you focus on the sensations, like drinking a nice cup of tea, so you don't think of other things. So you feel the warmth in your mouth, the taste and texture, then swallow and feel the warmth spread. Then feel the calming effect. It puts you in the present moment and stops you analysing. You just notice being, rather than thinking. I think this is the main idea. It takes you out of your head and into your body.

If neither of these are correct, then I have no idea what they're talking about.

I have experienced sleep paralysis. It is an awful feeling. It hasn't happened many times in my life but I can remember it happening at least 3 times and it was really distressing.

I cannot relate to ArchaeC feeling like their mind is detached from their body though.

I do have ADHD as well so definitely possible. Some say mindfulness can be helpful for ADHD but that has not been my experience.

From what you describe it seems quite clear that your brain works in a way that you are hyper aware of things, and would make mindfulness hard or maybe would make the practice undesirable.

I remember my sister making similar comments about meditation.

Could this be ADHD related as well, or maybe some other neurodivergence besides autism ? (not saying it is not autism-related though, just wondering.)

ArchaeC said:

I feel as if my mind is detached from my body for much of the time

During some periods of my life this was also true for me. It also reminded me of Sleep paralysis  which sometimes appears in my life. (most recently this week)

I was wondering whether you or others have experienced events of sleep paralysis as well.

I don't think they were so much suggesting that you wouldn't notice getting wet but the sensation of the water hitting you. 

I'm sure it may work well for some people but I do not find it works well for me.

Noticing that sensory stimuli bother me makes me even more hyper aware for sensory stimuli which puts me more on edge not less.

It never takes me out of my head. I cannot concentrate on just one stimuli. I may be able to think about the warmth of the drink and whatever but it does not stop me analysing ever. My brain is one constant loop. And I can be having full blown conversations and still being horribly aware of the ticking clock in the corner or that my sock doesn't feel quite right.

So yes that may be the main idea of mindfulness but my point is I don't think it works for everybody.

I don't think they were so much suggesting that you wouldn't notice getting wet but the sensation of the water hitting you. 

I'm sure it may work well for some people but I do not find it works well for me.

Noticing that sensory stimuli bother me makes me even more hyper aware for sensory stimuli which puts me more on edge not less.

It never takes me out of my head. I cannot concentrate on just one stimuli. I may be able to think about the warmth of the drink and whatever but it does not stop me analysing ever. My brain is one constant loop. And I can be having full blown conversations and still being horribly aware of the ticking clock in the corner or that my sock doesn't feel quite right.

So yes that may be the main idea of mindfulness but my point is I don't think it works for everybody.

I have experienced sleep paralysis. It is an awful feeling. It hasn't happened many times in my life but I can remember it happening at least 3 times and it was really distressing.

I cannot relate to ArchaeC feeling like their mind is detached from their body though.

I do have ADHD as well so definitely possible. Some say mindfulness can be helpful for ADHD but that has not been my experience.

From what you describe it seems quite clear that your brain works in a way that you are hyper aware of things, and would make mindfulness hard or maybe would make the practice undesirable.

I remember my sister making similar comments about meditation.

Could this be ADHD related as well, or maybe some other neurodivergence besides autism ? (not saying it is not autism-related though, just wondering.)

ArchaeC said:

I feel as if my mind is detached from my body for much of the time

During some periods of my life this was also true for me. It also reminded me of Sleep paralysis  which sometimes appears in my life. (most recently this week)

I was wondering whether you or others have experienced events of sleep paralysis as well.